Princess Agents - 特工皇妃楚喬傳
Translator's Notes: This is by far one of the sweetest Xing/Yue chapters so I translated it from beginning to end. It's also a great synopsis of everything that's happened to her from the 1st Novel through the 4th Novel, and it gives some backstory and first person POV from Chu Qiao, which is kind of rare since she never really confronts her feelings. -K
Chapter 179: Be Honest and Open
Chu Qiao had never seen Zhuge Yue sleep like this. From the time they boarded the ship at Cang Zhou he had slept one day and one night without opening his eyes. He didn't even know she had opened his door. Yue Qi added that since they started out from the imperial capital in DaXia, he had never gotten a good night's sleep. From Xian Yang they switched to the overland route, and he didn't even shut his eyes after that. Now, he must have been extremely tired.
Zhuge Yue's health was not altogether very good. These past few days he'd been rushing on the road, and Chu Qiao had seen him take a dark colored medicine pill in private. When she confronted Yue Qi, he was very vague about it. Duoji knew a bit of pharmacology and afterwards he told Chu Qiao he must have over exhausted himself, his heart blood was insufficient, and on top of that he might have caught a cold.
Exhaustion, caught a cold --
Chu sat in a chair and propped up her chin. The boat traveled steadily, the weather was good, with neither wind nor waves. The window was shut but she could still see the rolling mountains one after another as well as the green water through the window paper.
She once again thought of the time she was forced to flee Zhao Chun'er and went into Bian Tang. She and Liang Bookworm were purchased by the Zhan family as slaves. At the time she had been injured and the nerd happily ran out to get food in the servant's dining hall for her, and she had been lying alone in a small cabin, looking at the scenery outside through the only window. There was one day it rained heavily, in her dream state she heard Meteor's whinny. She rushed out but the big boat took her farther and farther away until at last she couldn't see Jangnan's spring shore throughout the melodious and moving drizzle. (TN: Zhuge Yue was on that shore looking for her, and that's how he caught a cold before they met during the bath scene ^_^)
At that time, the siblings Zhan Ziyu and Zhan Ziming were still a classic case of downtrodden nobodies, and Li Ce was still alive and well, being a natural and unrestrained crown prince of the Tang Dynasty. Then, Mr. Wu and Miss Yu and the others also continued to give their all to strive for their ideals. Yan Xun was still her close friend and lover whom she had grown up with and she still had firm confidence in the future. She deeply believed she could rely on her own strength, together with the help of a group of friends who shared her own beliefs, and do her part for this world filled with devastation as far as the eye could see.
It was unfortunate then that time ended up being this world's most ruthless and murderous weapon. Li Ce was gone. Mr. Wu was murdered. Ms. Yu died in her arms. Zhan Ziyu's ambition killed all his relations. The people she once thought were like-minded friends turned out not to be so steadfast or loyal when faced with what was right and siding with the emperor. Many people gradually left her, and even Yan Xun distanced himself from her the farther he went, until they had become strangers.
Her world fell apart, the hegemony was carried off, and ideals became like ash in the wind. Past oaths were derided and cast off like weeds on barren soil in late autumn shaking its withered leaves.
It's true. Who doesn't change? Even who she was today, was she still the same as before?
She gently turned her head back. Zhuge Yue was still sleeping peacefully. He really was an awkward and stubborn person, even when sleeping his brows were wrinkled. His pair of always swift and fierce eyes were covered by his eyelids so his other features were more prominently displayed; high nose, thin lips and a well defined profile.
She had heard that people with faces like his were fickle with shallow relationships. Except for him, who was so persistent, so obsessive, obstinate to the point of making people fall in love with him.
Zhuge Yue had asked her before whether she had always thought that way or whether she had discovered her conscience and changed her mind? But in fact, even now, it was difficult for her to answer this question. The human heart was such a complicated thing. When confronted with one issue, you could either have ten or a few hundred ideas, and perhaps in this moment you had planned to approach it one way, but in the next moment you have another idea.
She thought that she too had changed. If she was the old Chu Qiao she would have stayed in Bian Tang, and even if she couldn't really be married to Li Ce, but she could stay in the palace as a guest and protect Li Ce's son until he was a grown up.
However, after experiencing so much, she finally had her own selfish desires and something she could not put down or throw away. Bian Tang's court went up in a tidal wave and the previous thousand years worth of sediment covered the royal court. It wasn't the openly aggressive spearhead between DaXia and Yan Bei, but a really thin, invisible and cold arrow. It was a scheme wrapped in layers of embroidery in the warm, southeasterly wind. In a careless moment it could kill people without the trace of a shadow. (TN: I wonder if this is where the writers thought of Yuwen Yue's ice arrows in the drama…?)
She later learned from the old hands at the Bian Tang medical pavilion had passed on the fact that Li Ce's father had also been killed by his mother.
For so many years, she had always been trying to kill the emperor with poison, assassination attempts, and there were a few times she had almost succeeded. Yet the old emperor always defended her, and did not pursue the matter. He was once angry and secretly ruthless, he and Prince Luo who took the side of his mother's family had mutually threatened one another, while the emperor expressly favored his other concubines. She was banned and even went to the Cold Palace three times. (TN: traditionally the Cold Palace is a dilapidated part of the palace where the queen/concubine lives out her days with few servants and no finery; a place the emperor will never visit)
In the end, he was unable to overcome his own heart. In his later years he dismissed all his concubines and kept only her as his wife, and he cherished and took care of her to the extreme, and she seemed to be influenced by him, and even gave him a few years of happiness and gratification.
Then, he still died by her hand. He had been feeding her medicine and accidentally tasted it, poisoned himself and died.
By that time he already knew she had already existed on a deathly ideal. For many years she had poisoned her own food and took all sorts of strange toxins to counter the effects, waiting for the moment he would be careless.
Thus, the emperor of Bian Tang died at the hands of the woman he loved most in his life. Although he kept watch over her keeping watch over him for a lifetime, he still could not match her perseverance and patience.
Still he couldn't bear to kill her, and only left a decree that she be banished from the palace and into the monastery, never again to re-enter the palace in her lifetime. Outsiders only saw the emperor and empress as a married couple in love, but didn't know that before he died the emperor was only trying to protect his only son.
Yet this court secret was known to Zhan Ziyu, and it was he who told imperial concubine Zhan Ziming. After Zhan Ziming's unsuccessful assassination attempt, he privately took the queen mother from the temple, and with the help of this woman whom no one would dare resist, he killed Li Ce and killed the Li family dynasty's chances of happiness.
After hearing of Li Ce's death, Empress Yun still committed suicide. Chu Qiao didn't know what kind of feelings she had at that time. Was it great joy and relief, or the vast emptiness of a big mistake and helplessness? She was both a stubborn and extreme woman. Because of that year's blood debt she persevered for a lifetime, and personally killed the two men who loved her most in the world. In that last second of her life would she have laughed out loud in absolution?
Perhaps not. After all was said and done, at the same time she took her big revenge for her husband and son she killed her other husband and son. For one stretch of enmity, she ruined her entire life, from her beautiful springtime to the ending vicissitudes.
After the death of Empress Yun, she was buried together with the emperor. The two were resentful when alive. They fought, secretly plotted, plotted to assassinate, detested, with feelings of gratitude and resentment entangled wholly for a lifetime. In the end, in that cold and deep underground imperial mausoleum they only had each other for company, and no one else, no other force, had the power to separate the two.
Chu Qiao didn't know what had happened that fateful year and she didn't understand how a person's hatred could be so terrible. But she would still sometimes secretly ponder that perhaps Empress Yun still had a thread of maternal love for Li Ce. She thought of the time when the empress approached her on a sunny afternoon, saying, "He wants a dedication to Buddha in the palace…heh…my word…. If you have time, go admonish him. He is the crown prince of the Tang dynasty, he cannot raise such a ruckus."
However, after the death of Prince Luo, that last bit of love was eventually destroyed. She finally succumbed to the devil in her heart, and met her death in this royal family that ate their own.
After Li Ce died, Bian Tang fell into chaos, the internal government was a mess, and outside members of the royal family were glaring like tigers at their prey. With the strength of the imperial royal guard and the XiuLi Army she was able to eliminate the Central Army and remove the Zhan siblings.
Yet as such, Prince Jing'an and the others would never openly deploy troops, and used these types of hired guns to fence in the monarch in a dignified manner. Sooner or later, appeasement would bring disaster. A new emperor ascended the throne and at the very least there was no need for massacre. So Chu Qiao met their plot with one of her own, first allowing Zhan Ziyu take his power, and then like a thunderclap, she got rid of it.
Borrowing the excuse of putting down a revolt, she had rendered a great service in the limelight, and with the support of Sun Di and his group she was able to pull out the groundwork from under them to ascend the throne. She gave Prince Jing'an and his group a reason to raise their banners and deploy their troops, and then she was able to get through all the arrangements Li Ce had set before his death, and take down the traitorous lot in one fell swoop. Once and for all she was able to solve the civil unrest that had been brewing in the Tang Dynasty for 20 years. Twenty years later, Yi'er would be an adult and he would have the ability to resist whatever storms may come.
But who she was at this time did not really have any thoughts of staying in Bian Tang after the disorder.
That night Jing Jing baked two of the melons Zhuge Yue had sent over from QingHai. They had smelled so fragrant, like a whiff of cloud that carried her heart away. Jing Jing was sitting on a small stool outside, carefully skinning one of the melons, and muttered, "Qing Hai must be very cold, these skins are really quite thick."
Her heart felt a stab, and in her mind she once again remembered that day in the deep, icy lake. Zhuge Yue's face was so white, and he had written stroke by stroke in her hand, "Keep on living…. Keep on living…."
The human heart really was such a complicated thing, but no matter how many hundred or thousands of ideas in it, in the end, only one decision could be made at a time. No matter if she would come to regret it in the future, at the very least, she finally obeyed her own feelings for once. (TN: Thank goodness! She was driving us crazy!)
A rush of soft sounds suddenly came forward and the window was gently pushed open by the wind. The river breeze blew the heavy curtain and it gently swayed, startling Chu Qiao out of her deep reverie. She turned her head and saw that Zhuge Yue had at some point already woken up. He was reclining upright against the head of the bed. Dressed all in an off-white long gown, he looked refreshed. His face lacked the habitual chilly solemnity and instead showed a modicum of peace and warmth.
Seeing that she was looking his way he lightly waved his hand, gesturing for her to come over.
She walked over, poured him a cup of tea, and asked, "Did you sleep well?"
"Mm." He drank a mouthful of tea, and then said, "If someone hand't snuck into my room and started sighing in despair all over the place, I think I would have slept even better."
Chu Qiao flushed red, and then raised the corner of her eyes to ask, "Hungry?"
He nodded and said, "I was just then, but now it's much better."
Chu Qiao stood up and said, "You've already slept for a day and night without eating anything, of course you'd be hungry. I'll tell the kitchen staff to prepare something for you."
"No need," Zhuge Yue suddenly reached out his hand to hold hers, and pulled her to sit on the bed, saying, "First, sit with me for a while."
Chu Qiao laughed and consented to sit down.
"I've watched you sit in a daze for quite some time, what were you thinking just now?" Zhuge Yue very naturally held her hand, his palm warm, without letting go.
Chu Qiao shook her head and said, "Some old, irrelevant things."
The corners Zhuge Yue's mouth harbored the trace of a smile, with a light appearance, leaning against the bed, giving her a sideways glance, and faintly said, "I have nothing better to do, let's hear about your old irrelevant things."
Chu Qiao looked at him, and a mischievous streak rose in her heart. She frowned slightly, her eyes staring straight at him when she slowly said, "I've done a lot of things wrong in the past, and I repeatedly neglected to repay someone. Now that I think of it, I feel rather sorry towards him."
Zhuge Yue was stunned, not expecting Chu Qiao to say these words at this time. His shining eyes staring intently at her, and he looked a bit more serious.
Chu Qiao continued to say, "He has always treated me very well, and I had taken his actions for granted, selfishly seized the warmth and the assistance he gave me. Several times he had gone through life and death to save me. For many years no matter what kind of predicament I had entered into he never gave up on me. He gave me hope when I was in desperation. He went through many difficult days with me, not even asking for anything in return, and I had never thought about what I should have given back to him, neglecting him time and time again."
Zhuge Yue looked at her, the corner of his lips gradually overflowing with a beaming smile, his calloused hand rubbing over Chu Qiao's fingers.
"Since I know that I regret it now, if I promptly reciprocate, I can still make it in time."
Chu Qiao looked at him, her eyes misty and she murmured, "But I'm afraid he will blame me."
Zhuge Yue's hand that was holding hers gradually loosened and slowly moved up. In his eyes there were a few traces of doting and emotional stirring as his palm lightly touched her cheek. He smiled as he said, "Who would be willing to blame you?"
"Really?" Chu Qiao opened her eyes wide, and slyly asked, "Do you think He Xiao will not blame me? He's followed me for so many years, and I even abandoned him at one point. He's almost thirty and he has neither home nor wife…."
The more she spoke the more she wanted to laugh, until finally she sputtered and Zhuge Yue knew he had been tricked. With a tug he pulled her into his arms, pinching her chin, and he said fiercely, "You dare play dirty tricks?"
Chu Qiao smiled, "Your own fault for suffering from unrequited love."
Zhuge Yue cast a sidelong glance anther, his eyes darkened, bringing with it a few traces of dangerous atmosphere that only a wolf would have as he smiled evilly, "Which household taught this girl so little manners?"
"Whose household? Wasn't it your household in QingShan Manor, Young Master Zhuge?" Chu Qiao smiled as she said, "Did you forget that it was you who volunteered to teach me how to write back then?"
"Oh?" Zhuge Yue deliberately extended his voice and nodded, "I really did forget. It seems I have to set a few rules for you, lest you show no respect for your elders in the future."
As soon as he finished saying it, Zhuge Yue suddenly bent down and pressed in close, and a scorching hot kiss covered her lips, carrying with it a trace of controlled boiling. Mercilessly his kiss writhed on her lips, the arms across her waist were getting tighter and tighter. The ice cold lips gradually became warmer, lightly probing her lips to open, and a force that was a bit difficult to resist slid into her mouth. It was cool and refreshing like sweet spring water, but also scorching hot like charcoal fire.
He looked at her with half-closed eyes, a dim, unseen light in the depths concealed by his eyelids. With great force Zhuge Yue suddenly had her in his arms pressed on top of the bed. The tail-end of Chu Qiao's cry of surprise was swallowed between his lips and teeth.
"Do you understand?"
Chu Qiao glared at him, ruefully rubbing her already swollen lips, saying, "This is the punishment of your household?"
"Not all." Zhuge Yue lightly smiled, carrying with it a trace of arrogance, holding his chin high, he said, "There are some that are even more intense. Want to try?" (TN: fangirl giggles)
Chu Wiao narrowed her eyes and and eyed the self-important man in front of her. Then, she suddenly pressed closer, her eyes charmingly seducing him and unexpectedly stuck out her tongue and licked his lip. Zhuge Yue was suddenly stunned, and before he could react, the woman wickedly bit down hard on his chin like a little animal.
Zhuge Yue grunted at once, reaching up to feel the little teeth marks she'd already left even though she didn't draw blood.
"Ha! Don't think I'm scared of you!"
Chu Qiao brandished a fist in demonstration as she spoke aggressively.
Zhuge Yue moved his wrist as if to strike back, and said, "Damned wench, these past years you've gotten more wild. Now I'm really going to have to properly deal with you."
Just as he was about to move, Chu Qiao was faster, and she agilely jumped away from his side, taking a few steps towards the door. She smiled as she said, "Do you think I'm a fool? Bye now, no need to escort me!" (TN: she literally says "bye-bye" in English here)
As she said it, she opened the door swiftly.
At that time she heard a few sudden exclamations of "Oh no" and Jing Jing and the others fell into the room head first. They rolled and climbed over one another, faces alternating between red and white. Embarrassed, they rushed to greet the two of them.
The pretty face of Chu Qiao, this victorious general who had once commanded 100,000 troops, turned beet red. She frowned as she saw Jing Jing and Ping An, and an unexpected Yue Qi following behind them. Angrily, she said, "Yue Qi, having the two of them monkey around is bad enough, but you also tagged along for fun!"
"Heh, heh, about that, I was just passing by, and I was just going to tell you all it's time to eat, haha…."
Yue Qi stoke up, making an honest face, nodding as he left, laughing as he said, "You two continue, carry on."
As soon as he said it he turned to run out, but before he left he raised a fist to Zhuge Yue and cried out, "Young Master! You can do it!" (TN: ^__^;;)
Then he strutted away.
Grinning cheekily, Jing Jing ran over, sweetly calling "brother-in-law." Zhuge Yue was in an incredibly good mood, and casually took out a small, high quality, forged dagger decorated with little rubies on the hilt, and very comfortably rewarded this astute little sister-in-law.
When he saw this, Ping An followed suit. Having nothing else on him at the time, he promised that as soon as they made it to the capital, he could go to his stables and pick out any horse he liked.
The two wildly cried out "Long live brother-in-law" three times. Chu Qiao's eyes burned with fire, and said secretly, Who was it that said Zhuge Yue was old fashioned and not even well known in official circles? He is certainly well versed in how to bribe his way into people's hearts.
Their meal was quickly ready to serve, and because it was outside, and there were young people present, so they casually set one table and everyone sat around it to eat. (TN: This is really touching, now Zhuge Yue doesn't have to eat alone anymore at an empty table….) Yue Qi and the others were inevitably a little restrained, while Jing Jing, Ping An, Mei Xiang and the others observed the class distinctions loosely. He Xiao was already familiar with Yue Qi and the others. Only Duoji maintained his dour mood with an icy cold expression. Jing Jing said at least ten sentences to him but he did not engage.
After they finished their meal, the sky was already darkening. Yue Qi said that they had already reached Cang Ling and in two days they would dock in Hu Xian Port. When she heard this information she was slightly startled, since Hu Xian was so close to the imperial capital.
The wind at nightfall was a bit strong, and she sat at the stern of the boat as the sun was about to set. In between earth and sky it only showed half its face and dyed the entire river a rich red color.
Time passed so very quickly. In the blink of an eye, she had already passed fourteen winters here. Many times she thought of her past world, but now she didn't know if she could be considered a modern person who had traveled back in time, or an ancient person with memories from the future. Things that had happened in the past were like a dream, rushing forward, and then rushing away.
She thought of how she was able to come here and live another life after she had died. So now that Li Ce was dead, would he too go somewhere else and continue to live? Also Mr. Wu, Miss Yu, Huan Huan and Xiao He, after they died, would they see one another again? Would they still remember one another? And what about Zhisu? She hoped that her sister could live in a time with a justice system, and spend happy and comfortable days in her next life.
She sat there with her rambling thoughts, and gradually her heart became a little broader. She lifted her head at the sunset and seemed to see Li Ce with a smile reaching his eyes as he looked at her, "You need to eat more meat. Your figure is truly awful."
"What are you thinking?"
Zhuge Yue's voice suddenly came up from behind her. Chu Qiao turned her head and saw that he was dressed all in purple robes, with the word 'blessing' embroidered in small characters. It was a very simple outfit but when he wore it there was a unique charisma about it, and it looked outstanding on him, clear and handsome, tall and straight.
Chu Qiao gawked at him with eyes wide open, and Zhuge Yue slowly frowned, and said rather uncomfortably, "What are you staring at, like a simpleton." (TN: awww, he's shy ^_^)
As soon as he said it he sat down by her side.
The snow white froth of the waves rippled in circles around the stern. Birds flew across the sky canopy, and the sunset was blood red as the river's breeze blew their clothing. Their cuffs blew like the fluttering wings of large butterflies.
"Xing'er, why did you change your name to Chu Qiao?"
Zhuge Yue asked her, and Chu Qiao turned her head smiling as she said, "Because I am not Jing Yue'er at all. My original name was actually Chu Qiao, and then something happened and I died. And then, hmmm, how do I explain it, it's like what you all say in this world, like a 'spirit possessing a corporeal body,' I possessed Jing Yue'er. So when I escaped, I changed my name back."
Zhuge Yue would never have thought she would answer him like this, and momentarily he was stunned and his expression was extremely astonished. After a long while he finally muttered, "Then, the first time I saw you?"
"At that time I had just acquired my body for a few days, and I was planning to run away."
Zhuge Yue nodded his head, and then lowered his head as if using all his capacity to meditate on the matter's truth and credibility.
"Hey, you don't really believe me, do you?"
This time it was Chu Qiao's turn to be shocked. No one would believe this type of story that pushed the boundaries of the supernatural. She remembered when she was small she had once told Yan Xun, and at the time Yan Xun was still a fresh-faced little adolescent, who thought she was talking nonsense in her fever, and gave her a bowl of hot soup to drink. From that point forward she never said anything about it again.
"I do."
"Huh?"
Zhuge Yue looked at her strangely, the place between his brows slowly knitting together, "Why wouldn't I believe you? I did investigate you. The servants all said that from the time you came back from the hunt you were a completely different person. At the time I thought it was because you had gone through such a fright, but now that I look at it, your explanation seems a bit more plausible."
Zhuge Yue had enigmatically accepted her even more unfathomable explanation. He nodded as he said, "So that's what it was. I had thought it was strange. Even when I was a seven or eight year old I would not have thought of the schemes or the methods you used at that time. Of course you weren't even a seven or eight year old child. That's right, before you died, you wouldn't have been a decrepit seventy or eighty year old, right?"
Chu Qiao found it difficult to follow his jumping trains of thought and she felt a bit foolish answering, "At that time, I was…tw-twenty seven."
"Twenty seven?" Zhuge Yue frowned a bit unhappily as he replied, "Then you were already so old, you must have been married, or maybe had children?"
"No," she answered honestly and timidly, "We, don't actually consider twenty seven as being very old. We actually marry late and have children later."
"Then where is your hometown? Bian Tang? Da Xia? You have such feelings for Yan Bei, could it because you were a Yan Bei person? He spoke up to there and Zhuge Yue's facial expression changed suddenly, and he asked nervously, "You wouldn't be Yan Xun's mother, correct? No, that's not right, the timeline doesn't quite align, I think she was a bit older."
Chu Qiao wanted to cry on the inside, "We are from another world, apart from yours. We don't share the same space, but we are parallel, and neither worlds intersect. There is not only distance in space but also distance in time and it would be impossible to reach from here. This, do you understand?" (TN: this is by far the best explanation of this place)
She tried very hard to explain it to Zhuge Yue, and she hoped she could help him by using words he understood, repeatedly trying to give him an analogy but she couldn't find the right words. But it was obvious she underestimated the power of young master Zhuge's understanding, and the man slowly wrinkled his brow a bit and asked, "So you're saying it's like an apple tree, and we are the spring leaves, while you are the autumn fruit?"
Chu Qiao was astonished. She never thought he would think of this layer, and she hurried to happily add, "You are half right, but that's not all, because in between us there is still distance, or space. Do you understand? Space is…."
"Hm."
Zhuge Yue nodded and said very naturally, "We are the spring leaves of the apple tree, while you are the autumn fruits of an orange tree. Right?"
Chu Qiao brightened beautifully, and she was dazed for a long time, and finally she nodded in a silly manner, "Correct."
Then Zhuge Yue turned his head around and continued to watch the rolling river water silently without speaking. The sunset sprinkled onto his face, reflecting a glittering, golden magnificence.
Chu Qiao could not help but sigh with emotion, seeing this person was so calm, and she was fortunate to see someone who possessed such great wisdom and knowledge in this big society. So profound, so calm, so without curiosity, very unlike those local bumpkins in your usual time-traveling novels who would ask, 'What do you all look like?' or 'How many eyes do you have?' Or even 'Do your kind look like beasts with long hair all over your bodies?' The problem with these questions was that only their world would have people with two eyes and one nose, and outsiders must be covered in fur and have a mouthful of fangs in order to show their own superior mentality.
This was real unperturbed leisure; this was the face of calm even amidst a mountain landslide; this was really someone content to be happy with things as they were and not wallow in self-imposed melancholy. This was truly what they meant by remaining indifferent whether favored or humiliated, a heart like the bright moon……
"So what do your kind look like?" (TN: hahaha all that praise wasted….)
"……"
"How many eyes do your people have?"
After someone whose deep silence was finally over and he slowly recovered himself, and was very interested in asking, "Are your kind like beasts, their entire bodies covered with fur? I once saw someone like that in Nan Jiang, his behavior was very strange. Could it have been a distant relative?" (TN: smh)
Chu Qiao took a deep breath and revived her spirit, and began teaching the beginner's course of rudimentary knowledge of the new world.
She spoke until her mouth was dry, and the sun had already set below the mountains, until a round moon started climbing the mountain peak and the moonlight scattered mercurial light over the waves.
The river wind blew lightly, and Chu Qiao traveled by ship, suddenly giving rise to a sliver of poetic feeling, with cup overflowing with deep affection, she recited,
"The sea births the bright moon,
here in the remotest corner of the world."
Zhuge Yue said a bit coolly beside her, "It's a bit unsuitable for the occasion, since this is a river not a sea."
Chu Qiao frowned, "The river births the bright moon, then."
Unconvinced, Zhuge Yue looked at her and asked, "That probably wasn't written by you, it was written by someone from your world, and you've just appropriated it haven't you?" (TN: ….)
Again, Chu Qiao cried on the inside, was suddenly disconcerted, her cheeks were really red. Look, saying this kind of thing out loud isn't going to do any good….
"Xing'er."
The two of them sank into silent for a while, and Zhuge Yue suddenly called her name, and she irritably responded. Then she heard Zhuge Yue say without rhyme or reason, "I don't care who you are."
At first Chu Qiao didn't quite understand, but after carefully thinking on it, she suddenly understood his meaning. She smiled and nodded as she said, "I know. I will always be your Xing'er." (TN: ^_^ she just admitted she would always be his)
Zhuge Yue's body was in slight shock. He dipped his head and his two eyes shone brilliantly as he stared at her. Chu Qiao harbored some regret after saying this and two streaks of blush crept up her cheeks.
Just as she wanted to duck her head she saw Zhuge Yue reach out two fingers and very proficiently lifted her chin. The depths of his eyes carry a hint of a smile as he said, "Say it again."
She evaded his gaze, with a bit of embarrassment, she asked vaguely, "Say what?"
"Repeat what you said just now."
Zhuge Yue said this very firmly, his eyes carried two swirls of hot flame, not particularly hot, but bright and piercing.
"I am yours, and you also have to be mine."
Chu Qiao plucked up her courage, and steadily said, "In my life, I could sacrifice anything and pay it forward. But there are two things that no matter what the circumstance I will not negotiate. The first is my beliefs and my principles. The second is my marriage and my body. If you want all of me, you have to give me all of yourself."
Zhuge Yue lifted his brow, giving her a perverse look, and asked, "All of me?"
"Oh to hell with you," Chu Qiao pushed his shoulder, and turned her head away, "You're not even half serious."
"Xing'er," Zhuge Yue's arms suddenly embraced her, his warm, masculine scent enveloping her, his arms binding her shoulders tightly, ever so tightly.
"I am very happy," he whispered. "Very happy."
Chu Qiao leaned against his chest and her heart felt a peace that she hadn't felt these past few years. She turned around and hugged him back as she said softly, "Let's not part ever again."
Zhuge Yue asked, "If you come with me to the capital, you won't be afraid?"
"I'm more afraid of being parted from you. Every time we part a lot of things always happen. Like this time, I almost never saw you again."
The situation in Bian Tang City was such a mess, and she was fighting with no possible retreat, as if she were treading on thin ice. If she wasn't careful she would have fallen into the palm of her enemy's hands. Zhan Ziyu's power was at the time in the grip of the arrogant and despotic. The bloodshed at Tai'an Gate was chaotic. After the royal proclamation was conveyed those rushing into the imperial city killed non-stop every night. Then there was that last battle with hundreds of thousands of people. At the time she hadn't put much thought into it, but now that she thought on it she did faintly feel fear after the fact.
Zhuge Yue held her against his chest and said in a deep tone, "In the future you will never have to be afraid."
The moonlight was very good, and the two of them sat there for a long while.
***
After returning to to his room, Zhuge Yue sat on his bed frowning as he pondered for a long time. He thought that what Chu Qiao said was right. He should really consider finding an appropriate time to let the two of them to give all of themselves to the other.
Yes. This was really not a bad idea. The more one walked the night road, the harder it will be to avoid ghosts. The more you sleep the more difficult it would be to avoid dreaming. There must be cleanliness and order in everything one does and one should really connect and go deep into that vital point, and give the final word. It was time to be frank and open with each other….All of him…thoroughly….. (TN: I can't tell if he's thinking about proposing or thinking about sex, haha….)
In the middle of the night he suddenly stood up, made a few turns about the room, and then felt that today was as good a time as any. (TN: hahahahahaha)
Translator's notes: Is it weird to want Li Ce to haunt her forever? But as much as I miss the mirthful monarch I'm blushing and laughing at Zhuge Yue's honesty and silliness. The cold ice block only acts like this in front of the woman he loves. I'm happy she was frank with him about who she was. Surprisingly he turned out to be the man who loved her most and the only one who believed her without a doubt. Our couple is evolving so sweetly! Get your hand fans ready, the next chapter is very swoon worthy. -Kero
