Princess Agents - 特工皇妃楚喬傳, Chapter 185, English novel translation

Princess Agents - 特工皇妃楚喬傳 

Translator’s notes: After going through my Game of Thrones withdrawal, I finally feel ready to tackle my other projects, including reading a bunch of romance novels on my new Kindle, cleaning my house, finishing my Regency period pelisse and finishing this translation.   (I have a lot of hobbies.)  

I think this may be the first and last novel I translate since it really is quite a task!  After a reader suggested Legend of Fu Yao to me, I thought about it because I love Fu Yao, but yeah, I think I’ll pass.  Still, I want to finish what I started here.  

So I’ve put on my iTunes Chinese soundtrack (not only drama soundtracks like 楚喬傳 but also pop music that I think sets the mood for stars/moon 星/月 inspiration) and I’m diving right in.   

I’m still crossing fingers for a 2nd sequel series of 楚喬傳 …. But until then, I’ve also started listening to a podcast that is super interesting and puts a lot of the Chinese cultural references and holidays of Chu Qiao Chuan into perspective.  Why is the author fascinated by the New Year?  Why is there a Lantern Festival?  What time period did Chu Qiao transport into?  Was this a parallel to the Chinese bronze age (B.C.E.)?

The podcast is literally called The History of China and it’s really well done.   Being raised outside of Asia (in the West), this is not something I would have studied at any time in my life since it had nothing to do with my major in university.  From the mythical beginnings to the first emperors, to the Summer and Autumn periods of the Zhou Dynasty (where I think the time period from 楚喬傳 is modeled after) it’s a really well done account of all the kings, all their struggles, and all their legends.  So far I’m in the Zhou Dynasty (3rd? dynasty with a written record) where a king (like the emperor of DaXia) tricked and executed a loyal but powerful vassal duke (like Yan Xun’s father) because he was afraid of his power.  And then later, another powerful vassal state (like Qing Hai) rose from the ashes from nothing to become the power that deposes that dynasty.   I think my mind is really twisted by Korean and Chinese TV dramas because I keep thinking every dynasty I hear about could be its own drama series ^__^;  

Every dynasty seems to have its share of greedy uncles and regents, crazy kings and concubines and exiled princes.  And, if you thought only crazy fictional ladies like Chu Qiao and Mulan put on armor and fought armies, around the time of the Egyptian pharaoh King Tut, there was once a female queen/general called Fu Hao who won pretty much all the battles she fought for her husband the emperor (reminds me of that quirky Chinese drama Oh, My General).  Why doesn’t she have a drama yet?

So how many times have you all watched the 1st series of Chu Qiao Chuan by now?  If we’ve watched more than twice, is that something we can admit out loud?  Hang in there, everyone.  LOL

-Kero

Chapter 185: The Yan Family Memorial 

When the ShangYuan festival (TN: Lantern Festival on the fifteenth of the first month of the lunar calendar) arrived, the Royal Palace held a large banquet.  Perhaps to divert attention from the prior year’s turmoil, this night’s dinner party was especially sumptuous.  Even Zhuge Yue, who was under house arrest to ponder his errors in seclusion, had been invited.  Had it been during peacetime, he could have found some excuse and claimed to be ill, but had he done this, it would have been difficult for him to avoid the onslaught of the boundless well wishers.  (TN: ^_^; Zhuge Yue is so anti-social)  At dusk, Zhuge Yue donned his court attire and entered the palace in a very low key fashion on horseback  (TN:  the source material uses the words 轻车简骑, translated literally as light ride, single mount, but it also sounds a lot like the idiom, 轻车简从, which refers to a very distinguished person traveling with few attendants, incognito)

Chu Qiao stayed in her room.  Lately she always felt tired after a short period of time and her appetite was poor.  (TN: Omo…O_O is she pregnant??)  Eating, then sleeping, it seemed a rather indulgent, charmed existence.

A sudden creak at the door was followed by the door being pushed open and Mo’er  entering with halting steps.  He walked over to Chu Qiao’s side looking slightly nervous, his nose red from the cold.

“Mo’er, what’s the matter?”

Mo’er hesitated a bit, then turned his head to look towards the door, and after a while longer, he asked in a small voice, “Mother, are we not going out tonight?”

If she counted correctly, Chu Qiao was only about ten years older than this child.  In the beginning, hearing him call her mother all day was a bit uncomfortable.  But then, she gradually got used to it, and now she thought nothing of it.

She sat up straight and furrowed her brow, “Go out?  Go where?”

“Today is the ShanYuan holiday.  There are temple festivals and lantern viewings going on outside.”

Mo’er’s eyes lit up with excitement, and when Chu Qiao turned towards the door, she noticed the sounds of a few more loiterers outside.  

These days, since Zhuge Yue was confined, those in his manor also rarely ventured outside.  She pinched Mo’er’s cheek and smiled, “Very well.  Let’s go.”

The continent was a vast land.  By modern accounts, it was roughly 40 million square kilometers, which was near five times the size of modern China.  The land had been imparted and inherited for many years now, even through the chaos of war and the frequent unrest.  But the people had always flourished, and the city of Zhen Huang was the capital of the nation, so the population was also very dense.

Chu Qiao and her group walked along the street, only to observe brilliant lanterns in all directions, beautiful lanterns of every eye-catching color vying for their attention.  The commoners of the capital, regardless of gender, age, wealth or nobility all came out to celebrate the occasion.  A hundred stage plays were going at the same time, all the musicians were creating a myriad of sound, and everywhere the scene was bustling and lively.

This year’s ShangYuan Festival was a little more festive than the last, with the cacophony of human voices, and the deafening sound of gongs and drums.

The children were laughing heartily, but as soon as an hour passed, it started snowing.   The north wind came whistling forth, the wind stirred the level ground turning it into white tendrils of flurries and the entire scene of colorful lanterns was blown apart.  JingJing and the others cursed loudly as they got into the carriage, and the guards waved their whips to hurry back to the manor.  But the wind became stronger and stronger, and the carriage horses were unwilling to move forward further.  When they reached a more secluded area, one horse suddenly startled, and it broke away from its harness.

Yue Thirteenth ran up to tell them the storm was getting too big, and it was better for them to find a place to shelter through it.

Chu Qiao nodded in agreement, and just happened to see the image of a shadowy building ahead, and ran up to knock on the door before noticing that it was actually a temple for the goddess of Yanbei.  (TN: irony…)

Even though Yan Shicheng was born into the royal family, because he was marked a traitor to the empire, he could not be entombed in the ancestral temple.  The name of this mansion was the Temple of Peace, but it was actually a memorial.  It was not only the resting place for Yan Shicheng and his children, but it was also the resting place for a few commoners nearby.  In the beginning, DaXia had sent some guards to strictly keep a lookout, but since YanXun had returned to Yanbei, there had been no attempts by the Datong Association to steal the bodies.  Gradually, the place became more desolate, and the empire was no longer willing to justify the expense of sending soldiers to guard a pile of white bones.

Chu Qiao and the other entered the sloping antechamber. (TN: the words 偏屋 can literally mean “partial house” but the word 偏 also means slanted, and in this case, I think the words refer to the architecture.  I could be wrong, but it sounds better in English this way.)  The guards found some candlesticks and torches and the interior gradually became brighter.  It revealed a clutter of memorial tablets arranged inside the gloomy hall.  There are also over twenty coffins, shrouded under a display of pure white candles.  At a glance it was both horrible and ghastly.

Jing Jing’s face went pale, as if she was a bit scared, and she stayed close behind Duoji, tugging on his sleeve.  Her usual quick wit was absent.

MeiXiang said to her with a laugh, “Never thought there was actually something that would scare our Miss JingJing.  At one point I even thought you were a little demon incarnate, afraid of no one in this world.”

Upon hearing her playful banter, the atmosphere momentarily became lighter.

Rong’er was now one years old, constantly babbling to practice speaking, wobbling as he walked around out of doors rather like a duckling.  He was dressed all in red, rolled up in a red padded jacked.  He used his chubby little hand to stifle a yawn, and burrowed into Chu Qiao’s arms, adjusting to a more comfortable position to take a nap.

Chu Qiao stood up and handed Rong’er to Mei Xiang, saying softly, “I’m going out.”

“Miss, where are you going in a big storm like this?”

Chu Qiao mentioned the boxes of foodstuffs Mei Xiang had packed, and lit a lantern.  “I’ll just go next door and take a look.  You needn’t follow.”

As soon as she said this, she exited through the chamber doorway.

The wind outside was astonishingly strong.  In the fifteen years she’s lived on this continent, she had never witnessed such gales.  The lantern in her hand quickly extinguished.  Chu Qiao’s large, fur cloak flew upward and cold snow pelted her face in multiple pricks, as if being hit by pebbles.  Chu Qiao tightly held onto the collar of her cloak and with great difficulty she walked forward, walking for a while before stopping before a dilapidated room.  She then reached out her hand and slowly pushed open the groaning doors.

In that moment the heavy gale suddenly rushed in, it stirred up the layers of dust all over the floor.  Chu Qiao coughed a few times then quickly close the doors, pulling a chair to hold the doors in place.

The deathly quiet in this room was the same, and it seemed colder than the outside.  In several places the roof had caved in, and the wind stirred in the rafters.  All around the pitch darkness was deep enough so one couldn’t see their own fingers in front of their face, but she was well acquainted with the floor plan here.  She took out her fire starter and after several tries, managed to light all the candles around her.  Faint candlelight quietly ignited, slowly turning the room bright.  Four, deep black colored coffins were placed within without spiritual tablets, without banners or tapers, or even a single marking.  They had just been nonchalantly left there, with straw and litter all around, and a few pieces of frozen buns scattered everywhere.  Normally, this place was a temporary shelter for wandering beggars.

Chu Qiao placed the food box to one side, rolled up her sleeves and began to tidy up.  Her movements were fast and although she didn’t have any cleaning tools handy, the garbage on the floor was cleared away.  She tied the straw together to make a makeshift broom and swept the cobwebs aside and the space within looked much tidier.  Then, one by one, she took out the dishes inside the box, placed them on the floor, and knelt down, bowing deeply a few times in homage.

Indeed, these four coffins were the remains of YanXun’s father, his two brothers and his sister.  In those years before, on the anniversary of the King of Yan’s death, she and YanXun would secretly come to worship.  In those days, there were still officials and soldiers guarding here, and in coming here they would have to expend a lot of effort.  But nowadays, this place had already become so desolate.

Since returning to the capital, she never even thought about returning to pay homage here.  Moreover, she never thought she would wander here by mistake today.  Perhaps this too, was a kind of fate.

There were no incense sticks, so they were replaced by incense.  There was no paper money, so there was a silk cloth as a substitute.  There was no good wine, only one pot of goat milk and two cups of green tea.

Your Highness, I’ve come again to see you.

She got up with a few splotches of dust slightly soiling her knees.  Snowflakes fell down from where there was no roof, covering the coffin lids bit by bit.  She quietly stared at those coffins, trying hard to recall those bloody, severed heads from long ago, and it left a vast, bleak feeling in her heart.

Earlier, before LongXi experienced the snow disaster of a generation, Yan Bei had already sunk into its own catastrophe.  The people’s homeland was destroyed, and the snows that hit the Blue City was particularly bad and would affect its people for generations to come.  Thousands of livestock froze to death in the lands around ShangShen, the people were not eating, and Yan Bei was in danger.

However, while the hundred DaXia ministers were clapping in glee, Yan Bei secretly mobilized 100,000 guards from the Dragon Pass who trekked over the Lan He Plateau and the over 6,000 meters above sea level rise of Dusk Wolf Peak, to enter the territory of Da Tang.  Bypassing TangJia Pass, they suddenly attacked the Da Tang checkpoint, robbing over 200,000 sacks of food, then returning to Yan Bei with lightning speed.  The entire operation took less than four days.  When Da Tang’s border war report reached Tang Jing City, the guards from Dragon Pass had already returned to their post, and even crossed swords twice with DaXia troops who had wanted to take advantage of Yan Bei’s disaster to attack.

When word got out, it was like a drop of water dropping into a vat of sizzling oil, which set off a fierce reaction.

DaXia and Bian Tang were furious, but had no means of taking on Yan Xun.  DaXia’s imperial censor and his lot wrote passionate declarations, saying Yan Bei was born of thieves, their base nature was to burn, kill and loot, doomed to disobey the righteous path.  The old scholars of Bian Tang had even more fire in their eyes, raising a hue and cry all over the world, calling out Yan Xun’s ancestry and forefathers in a flood of invectives.

Moreover, they wrote books to lash out at the injustice, in agitation barely letting their anger pass.

But this was the only thing they could do.  The Dragon pass was an impenetrable fortress, Yan Bei’s army was cruel and ruthless.  In the current situation, as long as they did not come out and fight in open war, they could only burn the incense high.  (TN: burning incense can be akin to waiting, or letting time pass; or praying to the gods for a breakthrough) Who would dare go up to the door and provoke them?

When Chu Qiao heard the news, she couldn’t help but smile in contempt.  The soft will always fear the hard, the hard fear dying, and that was the way of it.

Fittingly, Zhuge Yue continued to disapprove, facing down the court and commons and continuing to ignore their cries to go to war.  Everyone knew that DaXia was now unable to even fend for itself, and the situation with several of its princes vying for power was already reaching its apex.  In a time like this, who had the time to go out in open war?  It was only griping.  If he had really wanted to amass the army towards Yang Ming, what those old bastards feared would really come to pass: blood three feet deep, a demonstration of sincerity by death.  (TN: traditionally, in olden days, people would commit suicide, or posture themselves to suggest they would do it, to demonstrate their sincerity and conviction in their belief.  That is what the phrase 以死明志 means.  In this case, Zhuge Yue knows it would be a pure bloodbath)

When he heard the news, he was slightly surprised, saying that he did not think Yan Xun would do such a thing.

In fact, aside from him, it was doubtless the entire continent would not have thought it either.

After all, once upon a time, he had used all of Yan Bei in a bet, positioning its soldiers and civilians as bait, leading DaXia’s army into the pass, and dispersing his own army.  Not long after that, he eradicated the dissidents to his rule and completely destroyed the Da Tong Association who had once helped him onto the world stage, taking the head of even his own teacher.

In the face of such a man, it was doubtless that no one would have thought he would do something like this for Yan Bei’s people, and at such a risk.

Even Chu Qiao couldn’t figure out what the catch was.

However, it was good that the commander of the Tanghu Pass was the son of the Bian Tang empire’s Prince Jing’an.  Even though he had aligned himself with the crown only after Prince Jing’an met his end, he held military power and oversaw critical holdings of the empire.  In the end, it was still difficult to make them completely at ease.  Every time Yan Xun went after him, it was not DaXia’s loss. 

And it was Da Tang’s grain that was lost.

Chu Qiao’s brows slowly lifted, in her mind she once again recalled living in those years on Shang Shen Plateau, and returned to the snowy mountain…. and the simple herdsmen and common folk there….

Yan Xun’s capabilities were becoming more and more impressive.  Hiding for a thousand li (TN: a li is a little over a mile), in rapid action, tens of thousands of troops were mobilized without stirring the slightest breeze, without anyone noticing, in a perfect strike.  His methods were accurate, his vision sharp, his daring strong, his men were first class in the world’s ranking.  As long as he is there, DaXia can’t imagine breaking through the Dragon Pass.  Even if Zhao Che himself attacked, there wasn’t even the slightest opportunity.  Though perhaps in tactics, military strength, intelligence, weaponry, logistics, supplies and other aspects he was slightly better.  But no matter how ruthless or how tenacious, there was no way to surpass Yan Xun’s ability.

The terrible thing about Yan Xun on the battlefield was his ability to make perfect use of everything around him to aid in his victory in warfare.  His ability to fathom the human heart had already reached great heights.

In this world, the only one comparable to him was perhaps Zhuge Yue.

Yan Xun’s strength was in his hate, while Zhuge Yue’s strength was in his cunning.

Like this, if the two of them were able to meet on the battlefield free of other worries, they might in fact have a legendary battle worthy of being recorded in the annals of war.

She shook her head slowly.  Although she had given up that lifestyle, when she was idle, her mind would still unintentionally drift towards these things.  She would take news that she had heard, take it apart and piece it together over and over, creating a rough model of the situation, and then deducing, calculating and rearranging.  Like a chess player who loves to play chess but doesn’t play anymore, she imagined all sorts of game play in her mind.

In actuality, though she and Yan Xun ultimately ended up being at odds with one another, she did not wish to see him fall.

Therefore, after knowing that he had successfully attacked Tanghu Pass, she was still a bit delighted, completely disregarding her status as Bian Tang’s XiuLi royal.  

In between the two of them, though they could not remain side by side, they also didn’t have to be at odds trying to kill each other to survive. (TN: um, girl, he tried to turn you into Swiss cheese....)

The wind suddenly became stronger, and the door groaned aloud, pushing the chair aside a bit.  She thought it was the wind and turned back to close it, but who knew that at the moment she reached the doorway, the door would suddenly be pushed open.  A man in a black cloak stood amid the flurry of snow fall, behind him, only a single escort dressed in dark clothing.

She couldn’t see his face, and momentarily, could only see a pair of eyes, black like an abyss, aiming unflinchingly at her person.  (TN: the words used here by the author remind us that Yan Xun is an excellent shot)

Endnotes:  Wow, that’s interesting! Is that really Yan Xun??  She can tie up this loose end, finally.  So many pop songs going through my head right now in songfic form.  ^_^  What soundtrack would you play for this moment?  I imagine their soundtrack would include 简单 (Simple) by Claire Kuo, 崇拜 (Worship) by Fish Leong, 很久很久以後 (A long time from now) by Christine Fan.  Maybe Irreplaceable by Beyoncé?  ^___^;

I wonder if Zhuge Yue will be upset he wasn’t there?  I doubt he would be jealous, since he knows she loves him and not Yan Xun.

I really like how the author compares and contrasts Zhuge Yue and Yan Xun in this chapter.  They had always been polar opposites in youth, and still are in adulthood.  Except they both switched places.  The young Yan Xun who was carefree died in tragedy, and in struggle he was reborn a ruthless, vengeful man of hatred.  The young and cruel Zhuge Yue was redeemed by love, and in struggle was reborn and saw a different path to live, using his cunning to achieve what was right.  They are both two sides of the same coin.  And whereas Yan Xun never really understood Chu Qiao though he knew her value, he set her aside when she became inconvenient.  Zhuge Yue always knew her value, learned how to understand her, and cherishes her as the love of his life regardless of how inconvenient.

I think that’s what makes Zhuge Yue one of my favorite fictional romantic heroes, right up there with Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice and Mr. Thornton from North and South.   —KERO

Princess Agents 特工皇妃楚喬傳 Chapter 176 English novel translation

Princess Agents - 特工皇妃楚喬傳 

Synopsis:  The next few chapters conclude the wistful and tragic story of Li Ce condensed into three to four chapters.  I'm not sure why the author decided to end things like this for one of the most lovable characters in the novel, but then, there it is.

We start with the inner turmoil of Bian Tang and how Li Ce had to quell a rebellion against his half-brother (same mother, different father) whom he grew up with since childhood, Li Luo, who crowned himself king.  Chu Qiao and her entourage did not make it to Bian Tang after parting ways with Zhuge Yue, and instead were waylaid at Han Sui.  Despite her status with the emperor she could not get to the capital. Han Sui ran into famine and plague as a result of the war, but Chu Qiao and her group stayed out of it for the most part, as they had packed for long distance travel and camped outside the city.

The entire rebellion lasted 11 days, and Li Ce prevailed while his brother was erased from the annals of history.   It was a rather sad affair, since Li Ce relied on his general Xu Su, who was brother-in-law to Li Luo.  The general's sister ended up committing suicide.  From what I could tell, since I skipped many of the earlier Bian Tang chapters, Li Ce had only ever been in love with one woman, a childhood friend named Fu'er who was in love with Li Luo.  Their parents ended up marrying her to Li Ce, likely against her will, and she died early.  After the rebellion, he buried Li Luo next to her, but he executed Li Luo's entire family.  (Perhaps it is because of this other woman that Li Ce supported Chu Qiao wholeheartedly to choose her own path in life.)

When Chu Qiao finally makes it back into the palace she has no other place to go.  In the process of the war, her inn and the entire scholar town was burnt to the ground so Bian Tang was as good a place to stay as any.  

When she visits Li Ce she sits next to him, rather than opposite him, as she is aware that place is reserved for the dead.  He is getting drunk alone and looks rather miserable, which makes her want to cry, to which he replies, "I'm not dead yet."   He explains that when he became crown prince, he wanted to fulfill Li Luo's dream of being a scholar by opening a history bureau for him, but never got to tell him after Fu'er died.  (Her death drove a stake between them.)  Chu Qiao just listens to him, knowing that he needs a sympathetic ear.

Zhuge Yue has since taken to writing to her (something she accused him of not being able to do in an earlier chapter).  He doesn't mention any of the turmoil he's been embroiled in with the DaXia princes.  Bian Tang's inner conflict eased pressure on Da Xia's border.  Prince Zhao Che had been waylaid by a snowstorm.  Zhao Yang took the opportunity to make some progress towards Bian Tang and positioned himself 30 miles outside of the capital.  Zhuge Yue then took 5,000 QingHai escorts to face off with him.  If Wei Shuye had not come in the next 3 hours, it would have been a mess.  He didn't mention a thing to her in the letter, but she had to learn it from the mouth of the guard who delivered the letter.  The messenger told her how nerve wracking it was for 5,000 QingHai guards to face off 30,000 Southern Army soldiers. 

Now that the DaXia emperor was on his deathbed, the Zhao princes were starting to move. While Chu Qiao is unoccupied she goes to the temple to pray for the safety of her loved one.  She remembered the Dowager Empress had once asked her son not to tear down this temple and to worship Buddha.  

She also comes across He Xiao after years of separation, who is now a third-ranked officer guarding Li Ce's inner harem.  She explains that she did not want to abandon them, and she considered him one of her best friends having been through thick and thin together.  He responds that he had also been selfish since he had seen all her inner turmoil in Yan Bei.  He should not have placed the responsibility on her that drove her to go against the king and end up like this.  The emperor said that she needed to let go of the past to attain happiness, so He Xiao wishes her well, hoping she can choose to live for herself.  He is embarking to the southwest for his next assignment, and perhaps there will not be a chance of them meeting again.  Chu Qiao realizes he already knows she is going to QingHai.  She calls him 'brother' while he calls her 'little Qiao', they exchange farewells and part ways.  

For the most part, Chu Qiao avoids Li Ce's grand parties for the New Year, preferring the quiet seclusion of her place in Jin Wu palace.  On the 28th day of the 12th month, a long string of beautiful carriages pulled up to Jin Wu palace, each laden with precious gems and jewels, furs, brocades, art and antiques, calligraphy and other luxuries as far as the imagination could reach.  Not only that, but also many things that girls would love, such as palace clothes, shoes, bright red hairpins, top grade flowers, coral decorations up to three feet high, rare orchids, a curtained screen inlaid with eastern pearls, jades that glowed in the night, and even things from overseas like matches, telescopes, simple chiming clocks, foreign women's clothing, and specialty products like foreign medicines.  Altogether, twenty carts and 200 boxes large and small were delivered to her doorstep.

What was more ridiculous was the inclusion of some indigenous produce, some ugly looking squash things.  Chu Qiao realized this was the QingHai melon Zhuge Yue had once written to her about.  When she put it to her nose it was slightly was fragrant, and a sudden sweetness overcame her heart.  She concluded these ugly melons were worth more to her than the other treasures he had sent.  (TN: ^__^)

These melons had been treated with great care, each wrapped in red cloth and tied with red string. She knows the locals in Qing Hai had gone to great lengths at their master's bidding.  To one of these melons his letter is tied.  She opens the golden envelope and sees his flying, thin handwriting in great volume.  He always does this.  Even the tone of his letters are awkward.  He speaks of weather, politics, economy, like the cordial banter between two heads of state.  And then, at the very last part he gives a strange warning, "Make sure you secure your doors and windows at night as a precaution against unsavory people." 

Li Ce sees what he had written and flies into a fit accusing Zhuge Yue of badmouthing him behind his back; and Chu Qiao generally stays out of it knowing they were both probably guilty.  Still, at the very end of this letter, he writes, "I am entangled in a difficult situation and will not be able to spend the spring banquet with you.  Next year, on the day when the spring flowers bloom I will fulfill my promise.  Wait for me."  (TN: So I guess all these gifts were for her was part of an apology for asking her to wait another year)

In response she draws a little cartoon of two figures, one serious and awkward, another smart and delicate on a high hilltop, staring at a grassy green plain before them,  with various cattle and sheep in the distance.  Further out, she drew a large ocean.  Beneath the "letter" she wrote, "Waiting for you."

She lets herself be selfish and willful with him, and she must believe once more.

Then, in March, Li Ce's second son dies of fever, leaving him only one son, six, and one daughter, four.  Chu Qiao visits him again and sees he has gotten very drunk. He asks her desperately as he clings to her, "Is it because my hands are stained with blood?"

In May, another of Li Ce's concubines, Zhan Ziming (from book 2), entered the palace to give birth to another child, a son, which puts the whole palace into celebration mode again.  Li Ce named this boy, QingRong.  The Dowager Empress was not in attendance and Chu Qiao's  attendant at JinWu palace told her the empress had not been seen in the palace for many years, having gone into seclusion at AnYing temple.

A few days earlier, Zhuge Yue had sent a pair of beautiful twin HuDi birds to her.  They were rumored to be paired for life, and if one died the other would not survive.  (TN: awwww, who said he wasn't romantic?)  Chu Qiao renames them as lovebirds, and she is unusually attached to them.  She hand feeds them herself and the female became really friendly to Chu Qiao, while the male bird always squawks angrily at everyone.  

Li Ce also liked the birds and came to tease them every so often.

One night, while she was sleeping, Chu Qiao finds a drunk Li Ce in her bedroom.  (TN: ^__^ Zhuge Yue was right to warn her…)  He holds her in a tight embrace, and she strokes his back to ease his loneliness and pain.  She asks him if he was mistaking her for Fu'er, who also lived in JinWu palace.  Li Ce laughs it off and said Fu'er's figure was much nicer than hers.  When he leaves she saw he had left his jade ring behind, and she calls out for him to take it back.  He says he'll come back for it tomorrow, and in frustration she accidentally jams her bare foot against the door frame and bled everywhere.  She has a frightful premonition after that.

The next night her attendant and MeiXiang rushes into her bedroom saying there had been an attempt on the emperor's life.  Chu Qiao dropped his ring, and it chipped a corner.  He had been stabbed by an old eunuch who was loyal to Li Luo while staying in the temple.  Chu Qiao was a bit incredulous since Li Ce was careful not to allow people near him and he was strictly guarded.  

The doctor is tasked to seek two people for the emperor, Minister Su Di and Chu Qiao.  Before the watchful eyes of the court, Chu Qiao enters Li Ce's chambers.  He looks terrible, but he says with a raspy smile, "Scared you both."  A dagger wound an inch away from his heart is carefully bandaged, and Chu Qiao is really afraid for him.

Li Ce explains that under these circumstances he is unable to personally prepare a dowry for her, and has to rely on Minister Sun to do it for him, jokingly saying he doesn't know whether the minister will be corrupt or cheap and try to pocket the goods.  Chu Qiao smiles back and tells him she'll keep an eye on him.

He looks tired and Chu Qiao tells him to rest.  In turn he asks that she stay with him.  She does as he asks and sees the doctor come by to change his dressing several times.  Her worries about the wound grow but she says nothing.  She stays for three days, and Li Ce looks as though he is improving.  It was then that the Dowager Empress comes to visit.  Chu Qiao was shocked to see the Queen Mother had turned very old, with a full head of white hair, deep wrinkles everywhere, her eyes red and sunken.

Chu Qiao accompanies the haggard looking woman to Li Ce's temple chamber, and is told to leave by the Queen's attendant.  Mei Xiang wants to say something, but Chu Qiao says it was appropriate to leave and give the mother time with her son.  Her attendant added that the Queen will not harm her own son.  When Minister Sun arrives he rushes towards the temple, saying news of the emperor's assassination attempt is not known outside the inner palace, and the queen would not have heard of this news so quickly.

A sudden scream made both Chu Qiao and Sun Di rush into the temple, only to see the woman holding a bloody dagger.  "I will kill you!  I will kill you and avenge Luo'er!!  You are all beasts, damn you all. I will avenge my husband and my son!"

When she looked at Li Ce it was as if she sees through him for the first time.  She clearly sees his happiness, anger, grief and joy.  She saw the affection in his eyes he had suppressed and hid deep in his heart and the desolation that was like the pure white snowy outer regions north of the Great Wall.

Li Ce looks at his mother with a bone-weary exhaustion, without shock or anger.  Chu Qiao is petrified to see him thus and goes blank. She knows other people are pulling her to leave, but she only screams loudly and rushes into the inner hall.  Several guards block her way, and Li Ce shouted for them to let her go, all the while pouring blood from his mouth and chest.  She stays all day while the crowd of doctors and attendants busy over him.  And in the evening, when she hears the choking sobs of the imperial doctor Chu Qiao finally faints.

I'm going to go into detail about Li Ce's final moments because I really like Li Ce and it's my tribute to such a fun character in these novels, the only really multi-dimensional character in the entire series.  This ends up being a catalyst for helping Chu Qiao rise to awesomeness again, so I am grateful to his character. 

When she wakes in the darkness Sun Di comes to get her, saying the emperor wishes to see her.  When she goes to see him, he is colder than her own fingers when she touches him.  He opens his eyes and looks at her quietly, ever so calm, as he said "Qiao, Qiao…."

Her tears roll down as her grief is caught in her throat, and she sees how much weight he has lost in these few days.  He touches her face and tells her not to cry.  Chu Qiao blames herself for not being with him when it happened, and he says she was not to blame, for no one would have suspected that a mother would do such a thing to her own child.  He tells her he had wanted to personally marry her off, but now he cannot.  Chu Qiao stubbornly refuses to believe he will die, and in her panic and misery she begs him to stay.

"If you are gone, what will happen to me?  If something happened to me who will come help me? I don't even have anywhere to live right now, who will I shamelessly live off of?"  To this Li Ce replies, "So in the end, I was just a sucker."  The years of their friendship was like a clear spring rolling past them through the lonely and cold air between them. She no longer had the strength to look at him, like her heart was being gouged out by a knife.  He then told her, "I've sent word to Zhuge Four. (a nickname for Zhuge Yue.  It could also be interpreted as a play on words meaning Zhuge Die, or Damned Zhuge.  Zhuge Yue calls him Li Fox -- a sly, untrustworthy person)  Someone will escort you to him, and you will go with him."  Chu Qiao bit her lip.  "In the future, don't hesitate, and don't throw fits of childish temper."  (TN: he knows her too well…)

He then asks her to help him up, and though she didn't want to because he was too wounded to do it, he was resolute.  She then helps him fix his hair because he complained of it being messy.  As she combs his hair each stroke brings back the memory of their relationship over the years and her hands tremble though he didn't turn around to see it.  When she is done he turns around and smiled charmingly, asking, "Do I look better?"  Of course he is handsome as ever, though his complexion was pale like white jade.

"Totally awesome."  (TN: Chu Qiao uses modern slang here)

"Are you praising me?"

She nods and he gives her a brilliant smile, just like old times.

Holding back the sadness in her heart, she asks him, "Li Ce, do you still have any wishes?"  (TN: last requests, unfulfilled….)

"Wishes?"  He thinks for a while before lightly chuckling, "Not anymore."  

His breathing suddenly becomes labored, he turns to her and reaches out his hand remotely, and whispers, "Qiao Qiao, let me hug you."

A gust of wind blows open the small window, letting in the moonlight.  She kneels on the floor, half in his arms, and cries into his chest.  The breaths at the top of her head fade, like a fresh breeze affectionately blowing away cherry blossoms, and then all is silent.  In that moment, it is as if the young and frivolous young man of many years earlier, dressed in red robes and ink black hair who had fallen from the sky, whispers behind her ear, "Still not going to stop?" (TN: His spirit is poking fun at her)

Chu Qiao's eyes are cold and empty like dead ash as she looks at him.  He sits there quietly, head askew, looking as if he was caught in some lovely dream.

She goes out of the palace doors, nods sorrowfully to Sun Di, and announces under the cold moonlight to the waiting court, "The Emperor has passed."  (TN: R.I.P. Li Ce!!!  *bawls*  Whyyyyyyyyy???!!!!)

The entire city is in mourning for weeks.  His mother dies.  Chu Qiao is not invited to the funeral as she is not an official of court, but she mourns him nonetheless. By the time the White Moon festival rolls around again, he has already been dead for a month.  Zhuge Yue repeatedly sends people to escort her away from it all, but she stubbornly stays because of a thought that won't let her go.  Though Li Ce was gone, taking away all the mirth from Jin Wu palace, there is still something she has to do.

She retraces the times she spent with Li Ce and realizes that he was in love with her.  And though he had given her many hints, she never figures it out until after he died.  When they buried Li Ce, she moves out of Jin Wu palace and buries her weak incompetent self with him, swearing that it is the last time she would ever cry.

She moves into the manor that Li Ce had refurbished for her as a dowry, filled with riches and antiques and a handful of servants -- a gift he had spent more than two years preparing.  The only thing it is missing is a name, Sun Di explained, since Li Ce had been picky and hadn't decided what to call it.  

Mei Xiang greets her with Zhuge Yue's ninth letter, saying if Chu Qiao doesn't respond he will be very worried.  

Yan Bei and DaXia are again at war.  Four battles have already been fought below Yan Ming Pass, the front line expanding into the Batuha territories. The DaXia emperor is dying.  Zhao Yang colluded with Ling Nan Mu and his Highness Jing Han and took full control of the southwestern soldiers to oppose Zhao Che and Zhuge Yue's powerful northern army.  Danger lurks on every side, and conflict can break out at any moment.

At a time like this, Chu Qiao understands it all, and wonders how Zhuge Yue cannot.  When Mei Xiang asks her what they were going to do, Chu Qiao responds, "We wait."

The new emperor is enthroned and holds court on the second day.  His Queen Mother sat behind him.  Also on the dais was Zhan Ziyu, as imperial regent  (TN: From Book 2 recall the Zhan family and this man in the wheelchair was the one who rescued Chu Qiao and Liang Shaoqing from the slavers when she fled DaXia).  As Li Ce did not have brothers or sisters living, and his mother was now dead, and the current emperor's mother was not high enough in court to be knowledgeable about politics, that left only Li Ce's royal uncle next in line to be regent.  Chu Qiao suspects him.  All of Li Ce's trusted officials and Minister Sun Di are suppressed in court, then arrested for conspiracy with Li Luo and thrown into prison.  On that day, all of Li Ce's loyal servants were executed. All the women and dancers were pushed out of the palace to be nuns.

The new emperor's regime is fierce and vigorous and any opposition would be cut down without question.  The first person to stand up to the regime is surprisingly Li Ce's old opponent, Liu Ge.  The old man stops Zhan Ziyu before Jin Wu palace, hurls insults at him and calls him a thief, accusing him of being behind the attack on Li Ce in the temple.  Before he dies on the spot he shouted Li Ce's posthumous name.  When Chu Qiao hears this, she pondered it for a long time into the early morning.  

Students from all over Bian Tang then gather in the capital to protest his death, appealing to the judiciary.  But then Zhan Zhiyu burns down the judiciary court and throws the minister's body into a mass grave.

Then the young emperor stops coming to court sessions, and even the queen behind the curtain is gone to take care of the emperor's health.  Zhan Zhiyu then builds a chair as magnificent than the throne and sits on it during court sessions.  He declares it was a gift from Li Ce and that he is also allowed to move into Jin Wu palace for convenience sake.  

When Chu Qiao reads the report, she turns to Tie You (Li Ce's right hand man and leader of his Wolf Army) and tells him to go watch over the little emperor.  The end of this farce is near.  That's where we begin….

Chapter 176: Tang Dynasty Melting Point

On the evening after the third day, a huge clamor came from the direction of Jin Wu palace.  All who were awake and those who were sleeping were roused into alarm, senior officials and commoners alike hastened out of their rooms in succession. Standing in their respective courtyards they looked up and gazed in the direction of the source of that noise.  They only saw that all the lanterns in Jin Wu palace were lit in splendor, with a looming red shadow as if there was a big fire, accompanied by the sound of endless killing, a mournful assault to the ears, as if ghosts were crying. 

Very quickly, everyone's faces went deathly pale.  Worried men held onto their wives and children and hurried back into their houses, and closed all the doors and windows tightly, fearing they would suffer from troubles not of their own making.  Only a few high ranking officials looked astonished in the direction of the palace gates, muttering to themselves, "I'm afraid the sky will change once more."  (TN: the sky refers to an emperor's regime)

Sometime around midnight the palace gate was attacked and broken open.  Lu YunXi's robes were covered in blood as he took 3,000 of his Valiant Wolf Army and faced Chu Qiao standing before the Tai'an Gate, and said in a deep voice, "Miss, we have already captured Ling Xiao Hall."

Under the pitch black canopy of heaven, Chu Qiao was dressed all in black robes, embroidered with gold brushes and green birds (TN: the bird is a 'luo' which is a mythical bird related to the phoenix, the symbol of a queen), her face like white jade.  Behind her stood a dense and dark mass of 10,000 XiuLi soldiers. He Xiao looked calm and collected sitting erect atop his battle horse, and a tight contingent of guards were on either side of her.  The banner of the red cloud on a white backdrop was raised over their heads.  The night was dark and the wind high, overcast with clouds, with no moon or stars.  The blood red light of the torches reflected onto Chu Qiao's face that was like a cold sword without the slightest expression.

"Into the palace."

The ice cold voice spoke faintly, like the sound of a blade scraping across and sharply piercing everyone's ears.  The large winds blew up the hem of Chu Qiao's robes.  She lifted up her pointed thin chin, both her eyes narrowed slightly, dug her heels into her horse's side and drove her horse into the beautiful and imposing, towering imperial palace.

When the last guard of the Ling Xiao Hall fell, the fire in the West Hall was extinguished.  Du Ping An rushed forward with a group of soldiers and the young man's eyes shone with a firm and tenacious brilliance, as if he had grown up overnight.

Ten thousand guards stood behind Chu Qiao, and their glowing torches illuminated the sky, reflecting onto the mess of corpses on the ground.  Chu Qiao rode her horse all the way to the white jade stone steps.  The daily palace attendants who dared not even look up at the door of the Regent's palace were felled to the ground and her horse made small crunching noises as it stepped on top of them.

A court servant who was adept at reading the situation rushed forward, shouting loudly that he would welcome the general to dismount.

Chu Qiao's cold eyes glanced at him, and thereafter actually stepped onto the man's back to dismount, and step by step she walked towards the majestic palace door.

The palace doors were quickly thrown open, bringing the scent of sandalwood incense head on with the cold wind.  The howling gusts picked up her black cloak, the sword at her waist was like ice in a cold forest, its chilly air stabbing into the recesses of the heart. In the empty, quiet and lonely main hall Zhan Ziyu sat alone. Vaguely it seemed he remained just as he was many years ago on the bow the river boat, a man in black sitting atop a wooden wheelchair, facing the torrential river waves, enveloped by a clear moon, his eyes unclouded like a mountain spring with his mellow and quiet voice asking, "Who is there?"

The wind entered the carved window, blowing down a thin piece of bright yellow imperial paper, actually an object for imperial use only, used solely by the emperor for the purpose of issuing imperial edicts.

Chu Qiao stepped into the hall, stepped onto the imperial decree, her eyes indifferently watching the shadows behind the deep and quiet layers of curtains as she quietly said, "I've come to take your life."

Zhan Ziyu smiled lightly, and like a thin cloud in the breeze he said, "I didn't think it would be you."

"A wise man of a thousand schemes will make at least one mistake, and certainly will lose once.  It was not easy for you to climb so high in five years from the position you were in."

Chu Qiao said this calmly, her expression steady, without a single waver. 

Zhan Ziyu smiled, "Are you trying to console me with these words?  I guess it's not so bad. It's not easy to be praised with a sentence by the world renown XiuLi General."

 Chu Qiao said faintly, "Do you have any wishes unfulfilled?"

A trace of lonely desolation suddenly went across Zhan Ziyu's face, he frowned slightly, and seemed not reconciled, saying, "I have never ridden an eight horse carriage, my heart is still not resigned to that."

As soon as she heard it Chu Qiao's mind was slightly shocked and could not help but think of the joke she had shared with Zhan Ziyu that year.  At the time, the two of them had been chatting, and Zhan Ziyu said he could no longer ride horses in his lifetime and in order to help him feel better Chu Qiao playfully told him he could try to raise eight exceptional horses to pull his carriage.  At the time Zhan Ziyu had chided her for being silly, because only the emperor could ride in such a carriage and if he dared to do it, it was a sure sign he was going to rebel.

Time ran like water, everything was reflected against the water like a mirror, no longer returning to the past.

"General Chu, why is it that the Li family can sit on this land, while I cannot?  Was this throne not taken by the Li family from the previous holder as well?  Why is that they are seen as the orthodox power of this world while I am a treacherous minister and usurper?"

There was a trace or two of lofty expression between Zhan Ziyu's brows.  He raised his head and looked up towards the lofty ceiling, and not without a fierce ambition as he said, "Besides, I've only taken back what the Li family owes me, is that so wrong?"

Chu Qiao was unmoved, and she said in a calm tone, "That is a grudge between the two of you, it has nothing to do with me."  

She slowly walked forward, flowing and steady like a night watchman's drum beat, echoing throughout the large hall.

"You caused the death of someone who was very dear to me.  I will kill you in revenge."

Her sharp, rare treasure sword pulled out inch by inch out of its scabbard.  The chilling light flashed like winter silvergrass under the evening moon, like the bright light of star fire, coldly reflecting on her face in a streak of white.

"Do you have anything more to say?"

"Let my sister go, she is just a woman and everything she does, she does for me."

Chu Qiao looked at him, for a long while she had no words, and a trace of bitterness rose up from the bottom of her heart.  The wind blew in from far away, stirring the hems of both their clothing, like a pool of black ink.

"I'm sorry.  I can't do that."

She coldly spit out those few words, then suddenly swung her sword.  Vaguely she once again thought of that night when Zhan Ziyu smiled and said to her, "What you say isn't wrong.  But as an insider you cannot see through the game, and when you come across an opportunity, you cannot help but want to give it a try."

Give it a try….

A handful of blood suddenly sprayed out, splattering onto Chu Qiao's ink dark robes, quickly seeping through and condensing into a clustered dark shadow onto the fabric.

Chu Qiao bent down from the waist to pick the human head off the ground.  The man's ink black hair was combed meticulously, his face was pale like jade, the expression on his face was peaceful as if he were asleep, except his severed neck was bleeding from the savage cut.

Chu Qiao tossed the head into the arms of an attending guard and said in a low voice, "Hang the head above the palace gate, and let the attacking Central Army see it."

As soon as she said it she turned to exit Ling Xiao Hall, and agilely flipped herself back onto her horse, saying to those around her, "On to Roufu Hall."

***

At some point in time the moon had drilled through the layer of clouds, sprinkling a gloomy layer of clear and bright light.  Ling Xiao Hall gradually cooled.  The soldiers in armor rushed away, leaving behind the corpses littered over the ground.  Crows in the sky cawed, their black wings like funeral banners.  In the empty great hall, a headless body still quietly sat on the golden dragon throne, looking rather gruesome and horrible.

The battle of Ruofu Hall was already over by now. Tie You and Sun Di came together, both of them covered in blood as proof of how fierce the battle was.

Chu Qiao dismounted and came forward, saying to Sun Di, "You've been inconvenienced."

Sun Di shed a smile, saying, "It couldn't be helped.  Except the food in prison was really bad.  I was so hungry I've become skinny."

"Miss, imperial concubine Zhan has been apprehended."

Tie You said this in a low voice, and Chu Qiao briefly raised her brow, "And the emperor?"

Tie You's brow slightly knit together, "He is unharmed, but he was a little frightened by these events."

"That's good then."  Chu Qiao sighed, and asked, "Then why are you pulling a long face?"

"The Queen Mother Yuan is dead.  When we rushed inside she thought it was imperial concubine Zhan, and before we could get a word in edgewise, she committed suicide."

As soon as she heard it, Chu Qiao tightly knit her brows together.  Who would have known that the woman would have such a fate, when she had tried her best to create this path for the mother and son and without a word, she was now dead.

"Miss," Sun Di walked forward and said, "The Zhan siblings colluded for their self-interests to assassinate the previous emperor, and all their plans of enthroning QingRong have been seized in the search and collected as evidence.  Tomorrow all the world will know of their crimes."

Chu Qiao slowly took the few sheets of paper from him, and though it was only paper, she felt it was heavier than a thousand pounds.

"Let me out!  You wretched bunch of  slaves!  Let me out!"  A heartrending cry suddenly burst forth.  The majestic Ruo Fu Hall was now in tatters.  A large fire was still burning, dust and rubble were everywhere.  Zhan Ziming dressed in full red phoenix attire struggling with two palace attendants to escape the hall.  Both her eyes were fully red, her face without a trace of grace or sumptuous beauty.

When she saw Chu Qiao, Sun Di and the others, she was suddenly shocked to a standstill, her eyes steadily latching and staring at her, and when she finally recognized her, she laughed and screamed wildly, "So it was you!"

Chu Qiao said nothing and only stared back at her, in a flash of many years, she did not want to reunite with this person here today.  That girl who eagerly gazed at and followed behind her older brother was already dead.  The one who stood before her today was nothing but a madwoman.

"Where is my third brother?"

She suddenly asked sharply. 

Chu Qiao's face didn't change when she said slowly, "He's dead."

Zhan Ziming then stopped abruptly, as if she expected there would come a day like this.  After a long while, she smiled slyly, and let out a mournful wail, like a night eagle in the heavens.  The light in her eye gradually faded, and looked at Chu Qiao with lifeless eyes, asking, "Did you kill him?"

"Yes."

"Good.  Good.  The one he fell in love with was unexpectedly very good.  It's no wonder that even though the palace was filled with women, he was only ever sincere towards you."

Chu Qiao stared coldly back at this beautiful and mad woman, her gaze for a moment altering to pity, seemingly able to pierce through her exterior beauty and into the depths of her heart.

"What will you do with Rong'er?"

"He is not only your child but also the child of Li Ce. I will treat him well."

Zhan Ziming nodded and smiled bitterly.  "Good.  My hands are stained with blood and I've hurt even him.  If it wasn't for my third brother, I would have forfeited my life long ago.  You can end it."

At that moment Chu Qiao saw the woman's riddled heart through her awkward smile.  From her childhood admiration for her brother, to her listening to everything her brother Zhan Ziyu prearranged for her.  Yet after entering the palace she gradually fell in love with Li Ce, and perhaps did not even know it until she tried to assassinate him according to plan, and only then did she know her own heart.  On the day of the attempt her grief was not fake.  Unfortunately for her, of the two men she loved in her life, one never loved her back, and one could not love her.  She eventually became a cruel joke of Fate.

"Give imperial concubine Zhan poisoned wine and white damask."  (TN: poison and a shroud for a noble lady's modesty)

Chu Qiao coolly turned around and strode out of the hall.  The wind outside howled as it blew over.  The dark night was like a thick tide spreading over her entirely.  The entrance to Jin Wu palace was brightly lit, and the sounds of yelling and killing were slowly dissipating. The sharp call for retreat blew through the chilly night sky.  The air was filled with the smell of smoke and dust, the smell of tens of thousands of slain, the smell of countless souls.  In an instant her ground shifted again, and she was surrounded from all directions.

In her hand she held a silver sword, her ink dark robes were stained with blood, behind her was a blazing fire, and black armored soldiers stood to her left and right.   Her eyes were so cold, firmly gazing at the ends of heaven and earth.  The extreme far north was in that direction, the frigid quiet rolling along.  In that short time her eyes did not blink, as if she was looking at someone, but in the end the figure was submerged in the ruins, without a trace.

"Imperial concubine Zhan has passed---"   The eunuchs announced her demise and began their rituals.

In that moment the sun pierced through the dark layer of clouds, the sky would soon be clear, and this slow, long night would pass.  But the darkness in her heart, what would it take to dispel it?

***

Epilogue:  Chu Qiao sees the new emperor, Yi'er, who comes running towards her, who still calls her "auntie" out of habit.  He laments that his mother is dead, and Chu Qiao looks at the little six year old boy and hugs him tightly.  This was Li Ce's son, his dynasty and his family.  Mei Xiang brings over his half-brother, Rong'er, swaddled snugly and asleep.  When she saw how much the baby looked like Li Ce she brought him up to her face and almost cried, her heart empty.

She sent word to the ministers of what had happened, the central army was subdued and awaited her judgment. 

Then, with baby in one arm and holding onto the emperor's hand, she entered the throne room before the waiting court.  As the sun rose, cries of "long live!" sounded throughout the hall, shining onto her black robes and the banner of the red cloud on white with the words "XiuLi" in large letters.  When the emperor says he doesn't want to sit on the throne, Chu Qiao lifts him up and sits him on it anyway, telling him that the seat was made of the blood and bones of many generations, that both his parents died for this seat, that the Tang Dynasty rested on his shoulders, and all his ancestors would be watching him here, that it was his heavenly mandate which he could not renounce.  (TN: no pressure…)

When the emperor asks, she promises she would always be with him.  Since Li Ce protected her for so many years, it was her turn to protect his legacy. The ministers were unsure of whom they should be honoring, the emperor or the beautiful general by his side.  

The dust had returned to the ruins and settled. The chess piece was already moved, and there was no room for remorse.

Chu Qiao thought quietly to herself, Li Ce, rest assured.

***

Translator's notes:  I felt I had to set up the preface to the events that lead up to Chu Qiao staying with Zhuge Yue as the other half the Xing/Yue OTP.  So even though Zhuge Yue doesn't show prominently in these chapters, it was Li Ce's demise that taught her Fate is whimsical, and she decides to jealously guard her happiness and the people she cares about with both eyes open and sword at the ready.

This is progress from that young girl who blindly followed an ideal only to be betrayed by a man she thought she loved, and a step above the weepy Chu Qiao who couldn't see past her own misery; and still a better evolution of the Chu Qiao who is in love and waiting quietly for Zhuge Yue to return, in my opinion.  But Li Ce died… still sobbing….   -Kero

Princess Agents 特工皇妃楚喬傳 Chapter 167 English novel translation

Translator's notes:  I started at the beginning of this chapter because I thought it was both interesting and touching to find out how Zhuge Yue made it out of the frozen lake.  We also see how Chu Qiao has changed and influenced him to this point. - K

Princess Agents - 特工皇妃楚喬傳 

Chapter 167:  North and South

That night Zhuge Yue slept very late and when the sky was about to become light, he leaned exhausted onto he divan, his consciousness lightly floating far away.  Vaguely, he apparently went back into the nightmare, seeing things that he had already forgotten.

In the dark obscurity he seemed to see countless beams of light moving around him, cold water stabbing his bones, and his entire body seemed to have frozen solid.

A cadaver-like hand held onto him, desperately pulling him to swim forward.  Scarlet blood gushed forth into the icy water and his consciousness scattered.

Yue Jiu's eyes were full red as he pulled him and struggled through the water.  The scattered sunlight penetrated through the layer of ice, a dim and distant light.  He faintly heard a loud sound from the surface, reaching his water submerged ear drums, with overwhelming force, exceedingly distinct:

Long live the King!  Long live the King!  Long live the King--!

He knew that they thought him already dead, and these were Yan Bei soldiers praising Yan Xun in fealty.

The sound was like reservoir water, rising higher and higher, and he could hear nothing else besides that sound. He had served his own crushing defeat to another.  In his whole life he had never before lost so miserably, and now, he was afraid he was about to throw in his life as well.

The sound gradually went far away.  His body had long since lost its temperature.  It seemed he was about to bleed the last of his lifeblood and he didn't have an ounce of strength left in any of his extremities.

Suddenly, he heard a boom vigorously reaching his ear.  He raised his head to look and saw it was Yue Jiu, doing his best to smash upward with his skull, one collision at a time, ramming the layer of ice above them.

*Boom!  Boom!  Boom!*

The sound was like muffled thunder, beat after beat striking into the pit of his stomach.  Fresh blood followed and flowed down the young guard's face, but it soon melted into the water.

Yue Jiu's face was whiter than snow, his lips were completely without color, like a ghost who had just crawled out of the grave.  He forcefully tread the water, his hands and legs already becoming stiff, but still he didn't relent and kept repeating this action.  So powerful, one strike after another, and again, and again….

*Boom -- Boom -- Boom -- * 

In that moment, it seemed as if layer after layer of dark clouds opened a gap and a bright, beautiful ray of sunlight pierced the bottom of his heart, and in the space of that moment he regained his consciousness.  These were his protectors who entered his household at the age of four.  All this time, the fact that that they would die for him was a foregone conclusion, and he had never thought there was anything wrong with that.  But in that moment, he thought of one sentence that girl had said to him a long time ago, so beautiful and elegant as she coldly glared at him, emphasizing each word as she said in a low voice, "No one is born a slave."

No one is born a slave -- 

With another boom a handful of blood suddenly splashed, and even though it was in the water he could still feel the hot, sanguine scent.

At that moment his body abruptly filled with strength once more, and he suddenly swam upward, pushing aside Yue Jiu whose head was covered in fresh blood, and with Chu Qiao's dagger in hand, he started stabbing at the ice one stroke at a time. 

I cannot die!

He said under his breath to himself.

I cannot die, I have many wishes that are still unfulfilled.  (TN: Again, something Chu Qiao had once said)

His lungs felt as though they were about to explode and his body was already frozen stiff.  His savage wounds quivered with flesh and blood, but he continued to rigidly fight for survival.

I cannot die!  I cannot die!  I cannot die!  *Bam*!

The layer of ice was amply shattered, and a large surge suddenly pushed his whole body upward.  The sun was glaring, and fresh air rushed into his face as he gasped one large mouthful after another, wanting to pull out his lungs for more if he could.

"Yue Jiu!"

He cried out loudly, "We're saved!"

He looked all around and but did not see Yue Jiu's form.  Diving head first back into the water, deeper and deeper, he finally found Yue Jiu's body at the bottom of the lake.  The young swordsman's body was covered in wounds, his face ghastly pale.  His eyes were wide open, his hair was a mess, and all over the top it was stained with blood.  He laboriously dragged Yue Jiu back to the surface, and then forcefully pressed onto the guard's chest, rubbed his hands and his face and shouted, "Wake up!  I order you!  Wake up!!"

In all of Zhuge Yue's life he had never before cried with such abandon, but on that day, he cried for a house slave.  In the boundless wilderness he wailed like a wolf.  (TN: R.I.P. Yue Jiu, you were awesome….)

Three days later he finally came across Yue Qi who had also just escaped from death.

His faithful and loyal guard had been lurking in Yan Bei by the ChiSui river with the remnants of the Moon Guard for three days.  More than twenty of them had froze to death in the lake while looking for him.  Then, as he was near death, they escorted him to WoLong Mountain.  After half a year, he was finally recovered for the most part, but only a shattered future awaited him.

That morning he faced the news that Yue Qi and the others brought him and idly sat there for a while, from sunrise to sunset.  When his teacher came in and saw that he had a map of the continent suspended in front of him, he asked lightly, "Where do you want to go?"

It had not been like this for many years, and he raised his head, entirely at a loss, "Teacher, there are no more roads I can take."

The white-haired old man smiled kindly, and then reached out his long hand and smashed a hole into the map of the continent, saying quietly, "Since there are no roads, just open a road for yourself."

He gazed at the map in puzzlement.  DaXia, Yan Bei, Bian Tang, Huai-Song, all of it had been torn off the page with his teacher's strike.  The map had turned into a large, empty hole, with only Quan Rong outside of the Great Wall, the southeastern seas, as well as a large piece of western wilderness.

"Child, in the wider world there are people more talented than oneself, (TN: an idiom that literally says outside of people there are people, outside of the sky there is more sky) how do you know that  this map can only be drawn in this size?"   

On the second morning, he again received word that Meng Feng had finally been tried by a justice of the peace last month, and as the charges were finalized, she had already been sentenced to wander in exile in QingHai.  At the moment, they feared she had already reached CuiWei Pass. 

The light and shadows of the years on the road ahead became an extravagant waste.  During those dark and cold days his hand held a scimitar that swung non-stop, sending out an intrepid, swift and fierce arc light advancing towards Fate's throat.  Time and time again he tenaciously rallied and took his enemies head-on.  Their warm blood covered his eyes, but in that thick, fresh blood he saw the true meaning of life.

****

Early in the next morning, a bright post horse rushed into Zhuge Yue's other courtyard.  The face of the soldier bearing the message was covered with the wind and dust of the road in his haste; his lips were chapped, and with each shake of his cloak he was closely packed with yellow sand.  Everyone's facial expressions became grave.  Chu Qiao finally realized something, and she quietly stood up and left the dining hall.

Half an hour later, Zhuge Yue was leaving.

Chu Qiao sent him off, walking all the way outside of the northern gate to the courier station.  The weather was a bit chilly, and Chu Qiao wore a cyan blue cloak with a circle of fur lining her bright and fair face, clean and simple but elegant -- very beautiful.

When they reached the Shili Pavilion, Yue Qi and the others tactfully moved back, leaving only the two of them remaining.  Without uttering a word, he dismounted and Chu Qiao followed behind.  The surrounding area of the travelers' pavilion was packed with shoots of bamboo and sedge grass.  The pillars had lost their paint, the sign hung crookedly.  It looked rather desolate and run down.

"I have to go."

Zhuge Yue turned around and looked at her gently, his words soft as he spoke.

"Oh."  Chu Qiao nodded her head, "Be careful on the road."

Zhuge Yue's eyebrows slightly furrowed together.  They were always like this.  After the trace of  initial excitement from meeting again passed, they became even more alienated and indifferent.  It was exactly as if neither of them knew how to get along with the other and they could only say these useless, polite banalities.

"After I leave, where will you go?"

"Me? I'll probably go to Bian Tang for a bit."

"And after that?"

"After that?"  The tips of Chu Qiao's eyebrows lightly knit together, and she thought about it for quite a bit, and then suddenly smiled, "I also don't know.  Perhaps I'll just wander and look around for where there are good things to eat, where there is pretty scenery to look at, and then find somewhere to live for a while, who knows."

A gust of wind blew over and they heard a *ding-a-ling* sound.  Chu Qiao and Zhuge Yue looked up simultaneously and only that this old dilapidated pavilion still had a wind chime hanging at the top. After years of being exposed to the wind and the rain it had already faded, but the sound was still clear and pleasant sounding.  Every time the wind passed, a cluster of rings chimed.

"You, will you go to Yan Bei?"

Chu Qiao smiled lightly, "I've lived in that place for many years now.  I've pretty much seen all the scenery there is to see.  Besides, my current body isn't all that good, I probably couldn't handle the cold of the north anymore. Even if it was the emperor of DaXia, I probably wouldn't dare go."

Zhuge Yue nodded, as if he understood something. His movements were a bit stiff, and he could not spit out the words that had already been entrenched in his heart.

These days had been like flowers blossoming on the ocean. In the end, they were just an illusion like a castle in the air, and when time was up the spell would be broken.  Everything was incompatible, even standing there at that moment had a kind of futile insistence.  Everything was doomed from the start. Like sand through his fingers, no matter how hard he tried to hold onto it, he would lose it even faster.

He raised his foot to go outside, his face the usual proud and chilly expression, unwilling to say a single word more.

"Zhuge Yue!"

The woman's hurried voice suddenly came from behind.  Her very small hand was ice cold, doing her best to grab hold of the hem of his clothes, very much like that familiar, stubborn strength.

"Thank you."

She whispered it, and her voice was mixed with the trace of a sob, but it remained coherent.

"I thought I would never again have the opportunity to say this to you in my lifetime: May the Heavens protect you, and always keep you safe and sound."

Chu Qiao's mouth slightly smiled, "Zhuge Yue, I have lived a life of restraints, a tumultuous existence.  I've done many things and I've traveled many roads, some right and some wrong.  But I never regretted any of it and I could always clearly see my own heart.  I never owed anyone anything.  But only you, I owe you too much, and I've no means to repay my debt.  Now that you have returned safely, I should be the one following you everywhere, and repay your kindness throughout my life.  Yet as I am now, I am not who I was before.  I've experienced all sorts of things, and I no longer have the courage to step into the fray.  In the Yan Bei battle the Xiuli General died and what remains is but an ordinary woman who has lost her dream.  I don't have the capacity to stand by your side."

The wind chime continued to ring in their ears.  Time solidified to a standstill in that moment.  Fate's circle was like a jeering face, coldly laughing and watching the helplessness of people on earth.

Chu Qiao suddenly opened her arms, leaned in closer from behind, and her fingers slid past the bend of the man's arms, and her snow white sking slid across his soft silks and satins.  The gold threaded embroidery rubbed against her fair wrists.  The wind was quiet.  Her hands gently gathered together little by little, bringing the front of her body closer.  Then, with a few steps, her face slowly pressed against his back.  One teardrop fell from the corner of her eye, dripping onto his navy blue garment, leaving a moist design on the silk.

"Zhuge Yue, I am sorry."

That voice was so low, as if it was a child's weeping cry of distress in the northern wind.

The sky suddenly floated a light snow that melted before it met the ground, but it fell onto their shoulders, piling up quietly.

With their skin so close, they could smell each other's breaths.  This was the first time she took the initiative to embrace him.  The years flowed between them like running water, all the images quietly coming and then disappearing just as quietly.  Fate had been playing a joke on them from the beginning.  After passing through so many twists and turns, they could only come to this distance today. The dust of so many years covered their faces, the foul winds of rain and blood have already gone, but they were still wearing the shackles of Fate.

Pale white birds flew across the sky, their wings swept across the sky's end in a long line, flying in a winding path south, until gradually, they were far away and all traces of flight disappeared. 

She finally loosened her embrace.  Chu Qiao withdrew her hands little by little.  His clothes were very cold, cold enough to seep through her fingertips.  His back was still straight, as if nothing in this world could defeat him.  He was still so handsome and tall.  The figure of his back penetrated the cold breath of the forest, as if he wanted to freeze the air all around.

Her arms were suddenly empty, and Chu Qiao moistened her lips and pulled a weak smile.

"Take care."

With a *whoosh* a sudden gust of wind came forth from far away, and the wind chimes swayed and rang wildly.

Zhuge Yue lifted his foot and exited ShiLi Pavilion, his expensive shoes stepping onto the withered, yellow grass breaking the stems so they softly lay flat on the ground, and as soon as the wind blew, they snapped off at their roots.

He mounted his horse, the Moon Guard raised their horse whips, the sounds of the war horses' calls drifted over, and the horses hooves flew up, trampling the tranquility of the post road to pieces. 

Their cloaks flew up like a multitude of war banners, heading north, their full clamor a provocative challenge as they galloped away.

He never looked back, maintaining his handsome and proud manner.  His back was straight as a pen as he sat on horseback, his blue brocade beautiful, his black hair like ink.  He travelled in the cold wind, gradually moving farther and father away, galloping on horseback until he disappeared into the rolling yellow sand dunes and she could no longer see his figure.

The early morning mist had not yet dispersed.  At the end of the road it was a vast expanse of ethereal white.  The hay on both sides of the road were blown about by the wind, making little whirls on the ground, without knowing where they would be blown next.

Chu Qiao suddenly thought of a time a long time ago, on the Yan Bei plateau, when she and the XiuLi Army had been framed by Cheng Yuan and became encircled by DaXia forces.

That night she had also quietly watched his back figure like this, watched him disappear into the obscured, snowy plain, little by little.  That time he also did not look back, but he walked rather slowly and led his horse away, wearing a heavy, thick cloak.  An abundant snow floated down from the sky, and the flakes floated onto her eyelashes.  The weather had been so cold, cold enough to make people want to cry.

In the blink of an eye, so many years already passed. 

The sun broke through the mist, gradually rising.  The pedestrians and the country merchants continuously passed by, calling out in their long intonations, selling all sorts of little objects.

Gradually the sun rose to its center, and teams of people and horses passed by.  Even the daughter of a government official stepped out to go to the Buddhist temple to pray.  There were world traveling guards for hire.  There were even the white-clad chivalrous martial-arts fighters one would sometimes see in the WuXia novels who saw her quietly watching from the pavilion, and some even came up and greeted her with worldly elegance and refinement.

But she didn't see any of it.  She just quietly stood there while everywhere just got noisier, and colder and more lonely.  The sun rose, the sun set, and the clear and cold moon was light a bright silver hook, like the face of a compassionate mother. 

The world between heaven and earth was dreary and deserted, leaving only her behind.  Her arms  and feet were already numb.  The sky became darker and darker, and nothing could be seen, only the light settling on the wild grass in a consolatory, deathly pale film.  Whatever the return journey, or the journey ahead, all had disappeared.

She took a very deep breath, lowered her head and shook off the stiffness in her neck, and heart full of headships turning into a sigh.  But she did not release it, and it only stayed in her heart, deeply swallowed down.

The gentle breeze blew through the wilderness, the grass waved and let out a swishing sound.  Her heart was so very empty.  Many past events played across her mind like smoke and everything went far away from her, leaving only a piece of white land.  Ten years of endless life and death struggle, everything hazy and melancholy.  Like wind through her fingertips she grasped onto nothing, and all of it was futile.

In the middle of that darkness she suddenly thought about words that were spoken many, many years ago.

"MinRui, you have so many men, who in the world are you going to pick?"

MinRui was manicuring her nails, and when she heard it her brow slightly ticked upward, "Me?  How should I know, if you're talking about those guys which of them deserves me?"

"Xiao Shi, what about you?  Will you follow after that post doctorate fellow for the rest of your life?"

Xiao Shi served the dinner she had made herself, smiled gently, and said sweetly, "That's right."

"You should be more cautious. You've paid for him to study and go to school. Be careful he doesn't kick you to the curb as soon as he makes it!"

"Absolutely not," Xiao Shi hesitatingly looked at Mao'er.  "What about you?  If the person you fell in love with in the future kicked you to the curb, what would you do?"

"He would dare?"  Mao'er stood on top of the sofa,  enthusiastically, with angry huffs, "If he dares, I'll castrate him and then beat the harlot."

MinRui harrumphed in disdain, "By yourself?  Who can you actually beat?"

"You lookin' down on me?  Tonight I'll just sell you to the brothel."

"Fine,"  MinRui said as she stretched out lazily.  "I actually wanted to go to Amsterdam to take the test for my professional certificate.  You'll have to speak to my old man first."

"What about Chu Qiao?" Xiao Shi forked a freshly baked piece of bread and leaned over, using her shoulder to give her a nudge.  She grinned as she asked, "If Chu Qiao liked someone what would it be like?"

She was at the time sorting the operation data for her next mission and after hearing the question she was a bit surprised, and immediately laughed, "I don't really know."

"How can you not know?"

Mao'er stole the pastry on Xiao Shi's fork with one bite, muttering to herself, "You don't have to skimp on your business. Talkin' to us like a bureaucrat, eh? Oh ho!"

"Me?" Chu Qiao pondered it for a while, and immediately smiled warmly, "Perhaps, I will be good to him."

"How good?"

Outside it was pitch black, the young Chu Qiao turned her head and looked at the dark night sky, tilted her head for a while, and after a long time she whispered, "Very, very good."

Very, very good….

She turned around and pulled her horse's bridle.

Her horse meekly stretched its head over, gently rubbing up against Chu Qiao's face, looking at her in a very loving but worried expression.

"Ha, ha."

Chu Qiao felt a bit ticklish.  This was Meteor, who had been raised by Zhuge Yue for many years. Now the horse was returned to her and it was still as affectionate as ever.

She reached out her hand to push it away, her voice a bit hoarse as she said softly, "Meteor, be good."

But in the midst of touching the horse her hand accidentally brushed against her own face, and it unexpectedly felt like the wind had wounded her, for her face was stained with tears.

She was suddenly a bit dumbfounded.  She turned her head stared at Meteor.   The horse did its utmost to pull hard against the reins, turning its head north, and snorting at her, as if it wanted to take her to chase after someone.

"Good, Meteor."

She gently pat its head, her face pressed against its neck.  The horse was already a bit old, just like her heart that was riddled with holes and full of scars.

"Let's go."

She straightened up, pulled the horse and quietly headed south.

The moonlight shined upon her and dragged a long shadow along the pale ground.  The night crows were startled, and shuffled their wings as they flew across the post road.  The young woman's image drifted further and further as she went, until finally, she became a pale shadow in the distance.

Translator's notes:  TT__TT my ship has sprung a leak.

This girl IS always saying goodbye to him….. SIGH…..  I know I said they'd be together but it's taking some time for her to recover and find the meaning in life again.  I also miss the feisty Chu Qiao but she needs to grow up, too.   

In my head cannon, Chu Qiao sings a lot to herself.  She sang once on the boat to WuPeng and in another later chapter her maidservant also praises her for having a pretty voice.  If my translations had a soundtrack I think several songs adequately describe Zhuge Yue or Chu Qiao's mood throughout the story.  Among the favorites on my playlist when I translate are:

1. Leave Me Hanging - Claire Kuo

2. C'est La Vie - Fish Leong

3. Twilight - JJ Lin

4. Why Aren't We In Love Yet? - Rosie Yang, Ryan Feng

5. One Kilometer - Valen Hsu

6. Exquisite - Jane Zhang (from 'Love Lost in Time')

7. If Heaven Had a Heart - A-Lin (from 'Princess WeiYoung')

8. Tree Rings - Diamond Zhang (from 'The Journey of Flower')

9. Listen to Snow - Diamond Zhang

10. Peach Blossom Promise - G.E.M. (from 'A Life Time Love')

11. Flowers in Bloom - CC Dong (from 'Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms/Eternal Love')

12. Love Song - Fish Leong

13. Have You Heard Lately? - A-mei Chang

14. A Thousand Miles, Far Away - Jay Chou, Yu Qing Fei

15. Simple - Claire Kuo

16. The Rain Is Coming - LaLa Hsu (from 'The Imperial Doctress')

17. I'm Not Leaving - Princess Ai

18. I Believe - Jane Zhang

19. Look at you Closer - Valen Hsu

20. Regarding - Fish Leong

Everything I do has a soundtrack.  ^_^

I've taken some days off from my busy work schedule for some rest.  I posted a lot these past few days and I found it kind of relaxing and cathartic to do something unrelated to my real job ^_^v.

But translating does take tons of time.  I can go a full day sitting at my laptop as I translate a chapter and then revise it, and then realize that the sun is setting….  Chinese is very lyrical and poetic, so a lot of it doesn't flow naturally in English.  There are idioms for practically every situation so the characters can't always be taken literally (I actually have an app on my phone that finds and translates idioms for me ^_^) and many characters have 3 -  7 different meanings so you really have to read a paragraph for context before you can make a decision about what the author means.  (It also doesn't help that I studied traditional Chinese, so being from mainland China, this author writes in simplified Chinese which sometimes reads like Greek to me…)  A lot of times, I have to choose whether to keep it lyrical or keep it simple but I don't want to lose too much in translation.

Sample translation: 

"一只死青的手抓着他，拼命的带着他往前游，猩红的血涌出来，在冰水中晕散开来."

Rough literal translation: "One ('zhi' - measurement) dead blue hand grasped ('zhe' - verb auxiliary) him, for dear life carrying/pulling/towing ('zhe' - verb auxiliary) him to go/walk forward swim, blood red/scarlet ('de' - of/possessive particle) blood poured/flowed/gushed forth, in the ice water middle dizzy/faint open come"  HAHA, come again?

Google translate reads: "A dead green hand clutched him, desperately carrying him forward, the scarlet blood rushed out and fainted in the ice water."  OK...? (Please, never rely solely on Google translate, it doesn't always catch the full meaning.)

Initial edit: "An ashen white hand grabbed onto him, desperately carrying him to swim forward as scarlet blood poured out in the ice water, he fainted (or, his consciousness scattered)."

Final edit: "A cadaver-like hand held onto him, desperately pulling him to swim forward.  Scarlet blood gushed forth into the icy water and his consciousness scattered."

A professional translator could definitely do better.  But every single sentence of every single paragraph goes through this transformation process.  Some are easy and others take me several minutes to figure out.  On occasion, some sentences will be so difficult I have to leave those alone and come back to it later before I smash my laptop in frustration.   In Chinese, punctuation is optional, sometimes decorative, and everything is a run-on sentence.  All my posts go through a final edit to correct the grammar, prose, vocabulary and spelling suitable for English readers.  Translating novels is much harder than comics because the language is much more dense!  I'll try but I have to go back to work now….  ;__;   - Kero