Princess Agents 特工皇妃楚喬傳, Chapter 172 English novel translation

Princess Agents - 特工皇妃楚喬傳 

Chapter 172: Waiting For Your Return

Chu Qiao sat on the stone steps watching the sea of clouds on the horizon.  The flowers in the courtyard bloomed brightly with unparalleled color.  Deep red with yellow stamens, absolutely compelling admiration among the people gazing on them.

The inn's little waiter sat on a small stool boiling tea in a very serious manner.  He was probably only 13 or 14, really at that age of youthful exuberance.  DuoJi and Ping An sat on either side of him, trying to engage him in small talk.

Chu Qiao heard them talk of the scenery in the Shu Qiu Valley, talk of the ancient plank roads of southern border hills, spoke of DaXia's Cang Jian pavilion, spoke of Bian Tang's WuYa Mountain, and at last, spoke of Yan Bei's HuiHui Mountain covered in snow.  Their topic gradually become more lively that even Jing Jing came out of her room, eating a variety of candied fruits as she searched her brain to contribute to their conversation.

Mei Xiang sat under a camphor tree on one side, putting together a jade and pearl necklace, her fingers fluttering like a butterfly, agile to the point of making people dizzy.

The sky gradually became dark and the garden lamps were put up, and the summer heat gradually dissipated. Jing Jing headed to the kitchens for a few ice bowls with multi-colored fruits, a nice a cool treat that looked rather good.

In the end it was the heavy thunderstorm from before that had dashed and destroyed the suspension bridge before Qiu Feng City.  Chu Qiao and the others' course was delayed, and they had to stay two days in Qiu Feng City before they could continue north.  They were currently staying at a small inn idyllically situated with mountains on one side and water on the other.  The entire inn was built halfway up a mountain with undulating heights in picturesque disorder. The dense woods in the distance looked like a forest.  Chu Qiao's room was situated on top of a high stone cliff facing due west. The owner looked to be a person of quality. Since it was next to XiZhao Mountain, he named it XiZhao Court, and every time towards dusk, the sunset there was extremely beautiful.

Zhuge Yue lived next door at the Gui Cang Pagoda.  Yesterday afternoon he had sent his guards to assist the local government to rebuild the suspension bridge and the ferry crossing, as if he indeed had some pressing business and he needed to return without delay.  It had rained during the day and it stopped in the afternoon.  The leaves in the trees were a sheet of glossy green.  The fully bloomed flowers were scattered and fallen, but they also seemed more charming that way.

Chu Qiao wore an off-white hemp skirt, her head adorned with an ebony hairpin, her long, black hair loosely coiled in a bun, looking very relaxed and comfortable.

The bright moon was very round this night.  Chu Qiao quietly looked at the moon, and suddenly thought that the Mid-Autumn Festival would soon arrive, but this place didn't celebrate the Mid-Autumn Festival.  In this place, mid-autum was called the Festival of the White Moon, and its source was a ballad.  Back in the military, Chu Qiao had once heard this song.  It sung of a man riding his horse to fight  in a war, which he fought for many years and rose from a foot soldier to a ranked senior.  From there he became a general and finally, he returned home after the war was over.  But he found his house was dilapidated, his wife had been taken by another, his parents and child had starved to death, and their bones had been burned to ash, not even leaving a grave behind.

She even remembered the last line in the song: The moon shines on my soul, urging you to come back soon.

Since then the White Moon Festival was a celebration of reunions, as cautionary tale that people should cherish their families and to not ignore their familial bonds for momentary gains, and not to wait until those bonds could no longer be retrieved before feeling regret.

The moon shines on my soul, urging you to come home soon….

"That is really pleasant to hear."

Mei Xiang's hands stopped what they were doing and turned her head to look at Chu Qiao, smiling as she said, "I have never heard you sing before, Miss."

Chu Qiao was slightly surprised, until she realized she had unwittingly hummed aloud.

"This is really a good song. Do you understand the song's meaning now, Miss?"

Chu Qiao shook her head slightly, "Mei Xiang, you've recently taken a liking to making people see the light."  (TN: literally, "letting people see truth")

"I have never studied books, and all I know are life's simple truths.  How can I compare to your level of learning, Miss?"  Mei Xiang laughed out loud, and turned to say, "But still there are times when the more you know the more confused you become, and you may overlook some simple truths."

"Day in and day out, year after year the roof beam of the courtyard faces south, and still I do not see my beloved husband.  My beloved husband protects the border, outsiders are kicking the gates, the children are without clothes, mother and father are hungry.  In remote places beyond the emperor's reach, the soldiers are not in the township, and the village chief has become the king of the earth.  Traces of wind and rain, the cold snow pile breaks the house. The moon shines on my soul, urging you to come home soon."

The smile on Mei Xiang's face was extremely peaceful, leaning against the tree as she hummed, and petals drifted down to the pearl and jade necklace in her hand.  The white beams of moonlight fell onto her fingers, like curved butterfly wings.

At that moment, a sudden burst from a bamboo flute faintly sounded in the distance.  The distance was too far, and the sound of the flute was slightly ethereal.  It was hard to tell if the sentimental melody was really there or not, occasionally sounding from up high, but without losing any of its clear talent.  Three stanzas, nine shifts, curling upwards like smoke, emptying in a long, drawn out fashion, with a kind of honest sentiment.

Ping An and the others had still been chatting, but when they heard the sound of the flute they suddenly stopped. DuoJi sat up straight, his eyes with a trace of rapt admiration.  Even Jing Jing, who wasn't musical at all, perked up her ears to listen in a very quiet way.

Mei Xiang stood up, turned around and went back into the room, and when she came back she carried an off-white cloak with her, lightly placing it on Chu Qiao's shoulders.  She smiled as she said, "Miss you have been rushing these past few days as if you were on tenterhooks.  Now you should take a rest.  The back gardens of this inn has some really great scenery, and the moon tonight is so good. Miss, you might as well take a walk." (TN: Mei Xiang the matchmaker ^_^;;)

Chu Qiao turned her head and saw that Mei Xiang was looking at her with a light smile, with faint traces of instigation and encouragement in her expression.

"Mei Xiang…."

Chu Qiao wanted to say something, but in the end she couldn't say it.

Mei Xian said, "Miss, Mei Xiang doesn't understand anything, I don't understand the world's cardinal principles of righteousness, or convictions.  I just want Miss to live a little happier.  You are a good person and that song should not be sung to someone like you."

The moonlight shone onto Chu Qiao's face, she was a little perplexed and could not help but think of the second half of the song: A few winters and summers on the green mountain, white snow fluttering and floating, her beloved does not know the road, the world is vast and boundless.  His child died of plague, his father and mother have no rice soup, his wife has sold herself in exchange for life giving food.  My beloved has ambition in his breast, and does not dare to be poor and lowly, my beloved is full of longing, the hair on his temples have run white.  How many restraints there are in worldly affairs, the years shrivel dry like water, wealth and status cannot salvage  a bed of poverty.

"Mei Xiang, go bring me the light green one."

Mei Xiang was slightly surprised and looked at her with hesitation.

She suddenly smiled, standing up as she said, "Everyday if it isn't white it's black, like I'm going to a funeral."  (TN: this is actually a line from the drama but in the script Yuwen Yue says it to Chu Qiao after they have the bath fight)

The moonlight showed the way, and she walked quietly.  Everything that happened over the years crossed her mind, one by one gliding across like a row of flying egrets meandering across heaven and earth in an ink painting.  All of it -- whether intense or grey; whether richly colored or indistinct and gloomy, gradually sank down to the depths of her heart and became a pool that slowly froze to ice.

Feelings of gratitude, resentment, hindrances, loathing, entanglements, mutual aid, joining hands, life and death, reunions, struggles, joy, separation, frustration….

Every step of the way a scene would emerge before her eyes, a landscape. Every scene carried the weight of too many heavy burdens, like the enmity between countries, personal grievances, conscience stricken debts, persistent longing, years of repression and forbearance.  And the spiraling intensity of it all nearly breaking the restraints.

All those different emotions overflowing at the bottom of her heart were finally broken one at a time by a very straightforward set of lyrics, forcefully following her spread fingertips and falling away.

She was like a jade green lake, using reason and calmness to create a thin layer of ice for herself, suppressing underneath all the emotions that she felt were wrong.  (TN: this is some pointed imagery since Zhuge Yue almost died under an ice lake because of her, and it was her dagger that saved him. So now she is saving herself.)

One year, two years, so many years.

On the back of the mountain there was a a small pavilion overlooking a secluded pond.  The wooden pavilion was already rather dilapidated.  The owner had deliberately planted a few bushes of birch-leaf pear and wisteria and the tiny blossoms on the vine wound their way upward, twining around and around the wooden pillars.  It added a simple but elegant touch to the quiet seclusion.

The moonlight faintly reflected on the crystal blue center of the deep pool ahead, and the curve of the moon sprinkled onto the ripples in the middle, snow white and bright.

Zhuge Yue was dressed in lavender robes, casually sitting on the steps leading up to the pavilion as he pleased, one leg bent, the other straightened, his back leaning against one of the peeled paint pillars.  A few strands of his ink dark hair slid down, falling onto his face. His appearance remained clear and handsome, holding a bright green bamboo flute in his hands, he played a very pleasant melody.  There was no foolish bitterness of being thwarted in love, no lofty aspirations reaching up to the heavens; just a country ballad played by an ordinary youth, sometimes brisk, at times leisurely.  The cheeky birch leaf pear fragrance wandered about him, like a mischievous child.

Chu Qiao quietly stood there, silent and without speaking. The wind blew against her light green cloak, the gauzy fabric floating like an early spring willow branch.

It was as though she had never watched him so attentively before. The years had been bumpy, and in a flash, many years passed.  She was once full of remorse, thinking how unfortunate she was.  But now that she thought on it, at least she was more fortunate than that general in the ballad.  Her house had not collapsed, her loved ones had not died, and the one whom she loved was still standing very well upon this earth.  As long as she was willing to turn around, she could touch his hand.

Even if separated by ten thousand torrents and a world that was intolerant, he continued step by step to get to where he was today. Using his rare willfulness and stubbornness he broke through his confines time and time again, and propped up a patch of clear sky for her to take shelter.  (TN: beautiful summary of everything he's done for her)

A smile came up from the solid ice bottom of her heart, and as if she could hear the towering mansion of her inner reason and sense topple over, she said to herself: Perhaps, I could be willful just this once.

After all, she had not been willful for many years now.

The sound of the flute stopped abruptly.  The man turned his head sideways at a tilt and saw the still and silent woman dressed in green standing under the laurel tree, as if she was slightly lost in thought.

"How are you here?"

"Only you are allowed to come here, and I am not?"

Chu Qiao smiled, then just walked over, stretched out her foot to nudge Zhuge Yue's leg, and said, "Move aside."

The man retracted his leg and she took advantage of the vacancy and sat down.

The bright light reflecting off the deep pool shone onto her face, and like bits of broken pearl, the light danced daintily and carefree.

"Zhuge Yue, when the bridge is repaired tomorrow, you will then return to DaXia?"

He nodded his head, with a trace of astonishment he looked at her, then asked, "What is it?"

"Then, when will you come back for me?"

A trace of surprise flashed in the man's eyes, and instead he looked a bit strange, taking her measure up and down, as if she was hiding some conspiracy.

"Are you going to wait until the DaXia Emperor is dead?  Or will you wait until Zhao Che takes the throne?  When that happens, will you be whole again?"

Chu Qiao sat with her knees pulled up on the stone steps, the hood of her cloak hung down her back, and slightly gathered around her snow white neck. She rest her chin on her knees, as her eyes gazed at the surface of the pond.  Suddenly she turned her head and said, "Zhuge Yue, I will sing a song for you."

The woman's eyes were very clear, no longer having that worldly expression of human understanding weighed down with sorrow.  She quietly gazed at him, gently smiling, just as she did many times in his dreams.  Her eyes no longer had any other distractions, and no one else's shadow, only him alone.

He forgot how he came to nod his head, but only saw her happily rest her cheeks in her hands.  The moonlight drew a beautiful curve on her face.  Her voice was very soft, like unbroken waves of fine sand, breaking through the tranquility of the night a little bit, leisurely walking into his heart.

--A long long time ago, you belonged to me, I belonged to you

A long long time ago, you left me and went to a faraway sky to soar

The outside world is wonderful, the outside world is helpless

When you feel the outside world is wonderful 

I will be here wholeheartedly wishing you well

Whenever the sun sets in the west, I will be here longing for you

Even though the rain is fluttering from the sky, still I await your return

A long long time ago, you belonged to me, I belonged to you

A long long time ago, you left me and went to a faraway sky to soar

The outside world is wonderful, the outside world is helpless

When you feel the outside world is helpless 

I will still be here waiting patiently

Whenever the sun sets in the west, I will be here longing for you

Even though the rain is fluttering from the sky, still I await your return --

The sound of her singing followed the night wind, quietly echoing in the courtyard filled with the sweet fragrance of birch-leaf pears.  Chu Qiao turned her head and her gaze was so clear.  She reached out her hand and ever so carefully and slowly approached Zhuge Yue's hand, unlike any other time before.  Like a young girl in love for the very first time her nervous fingers were slightly trembling.  A little bit at a time, a little closer, she lightly touched the back of the man's hand, and then, gently pinched the man's fingers, only to find it rather cold, like the water of the secluded pool.

Zhuge Yue turned his head to looked at her, and he continued to stare blankly back at her. The night wind blew between them and the pavilion's flower buds filled the air with the strong fragrance of flowers.  They were like little children sitting on the stone steps holding hands, and neither of them was the first to open their mouth to speak.

They had always been opposites.  In this very short time they were now aligned and it was as if they were a bit confused as to their new positions. 

Zhuge Yue wanted to laugh, but he also thought to himself that at this moment he absolutely could not laugh, so he was frowning rather seriously, and his facial expression was very thought-provoking.

Having put down the knot in her heart, Chu Qiao became very casual, and she tugged on his hand and asked with wide-eyes, "Zhuge Yue, is there anything good about QingHai?"

"Eh?" The man was slightly stunned for a moment, and then responded, "It's all right."

"Is it beautiful?"

Someone who had not a single romantic cell in his body responded, "There are a few places that aren't bad."  (TN: ^__^;)

"Then is QingHai cold?"

"It's not cold in the summer.  It is cold in the winter."

Chu Qiao was full of hope when she said, "Then its people must be very down to earth."

"You are silly. Where would there not be any bad people?  Evil people are bad all over the world.  Who is not selfish?"  (TN: idiom "All crows under the sun are black." - bad guys are the same no matter where you go) 

"Ah?"  Chu Qiao at last wrinkled her brow, "Then QingHai isn't really a good place."

"When did I say that it was a good place?"

Chu Qiao was speechless.  Was this something a man should say to a woman before he takes her to elope with him?

"But there is one thing that is very good about that place."

Chu Qiao asked, "What would that be?"

Zhuge Yue smiled rather pleased with himself, "It is a place where I have the final say."

Zhuge Yue laughed out loud twice, realized that no one else was carrying the laughter with him, and then despondently stopped.  (TN: hahahahaha he's so cute. Literally, no one was carrying the scene/atmosphere with him)

"Xing'er, since when?"

Chu Qiao was slightly puzzled, turned her head and asked, "What are you asking?"

Zhuge Yue sank into silence for a moment, as if he was too embarrassed to speak on it, and the space between his eyebrows slowly wrinkled together, until after a long while he said, "When did you start, not hating me?"

"Who says I don't hate you?"

Chu Qiao muttered to herself and used her fist to gesture towards her head and said, "I remember everything here."

Zhuge Yue swept his eyes over her in disdain, "Saying one thing and meaning another."

The moon shone lightly on everything below.  In actuality there are many times when very few words were necessary, and the only requirement was a small movement. But in order to get here, it took many years.

The laurel tree swayed.  The man's fingers very naturally turned his grasp over, and took the woman's ice cold fingers into the palm of his hand.

All those years of hardships, all the years of perseverance, seemed to have waited for just this move.

He turned his head away at an angle where no one else could see, and grinned with joy.  (TN: haha, well done.  *applause*)

***

On the second day, the suspension bridge was repaired and they left the Qiu Feng City.  Taking the waterway they crossed the MuLing River and went ashore to QiuSha County, where they had to go their separate ways.

The two groups of carriages stopped on the same plain.  Zhuge Yue and Chu Qiao stood at the forefront of the group.  The weather was sunny, the sky clear and dark blue.

Zhuge Yue looked rather cool, staring at the north as he said, "I have to go."

"Oh," Chu Qiao nodded.  "Go then."

"Don't fool around with Li Ce that much.  If you have nothing to do go back to your inn."

"Who fools around?"  Chu Qiao frowned.

"Humph---"

"Zhuge Yue, we're about to part, do restrain yourself and leave a good impression for the other party."

Zhuge Yue awkwardly mumbled, "I have never left a good impression for you."

Chu Qiao was angry enough to go up and pinch him, "Are you still human?  Who was it that wept and cried and begged me?

Chu Qiao pinched rather hard, and Zhuge Yue was angry.  "The one surnamed Chu, whenever did I weep and cry and beg you?"

Didn't he?

Chu Qiao thought on it, and perhaps he never did.

But what he did then was almost the same. (TN: refer back to the chapter, "Tang Jing Massacre")  Why was it that after he'd succeeded that he must carry on with this indifferent attitude?  Moreover, was this counted as a success now?

She fiercely stared at him, "You keep pretending then."

After a small conference post cold-war, they were angrily scoffing at each other, and unexpectedly, the original pain of separation gradually faded.

When all was said and done, it could be considered a step closer, couldn't it?

At the very least they were already casually joking with one another.

"I'm being serious."  Zhuge Yue was suddenly very somber when he said, "Don't mingle with Li Ce's lot, and don't interfere with Bian Tang's politics.  I have discovered that you are a woman who very much loves to meddle in other people's business."

Meddle in other people's business?

Chu Qiao glared at him, and rather unhappily said, "In the past I have only wanted to make him aware."

"And what about now?  Why are you still going?"

Chu Qiao said angrily, "Am I not leaving? I am going to say goodbye to him."

Leaving?  Where to?

Zhuge Yue's mood suddenly improved a lot and he unnaturally cleared his throat, then said, "At any rate, be more aware.  That scoundrel Li Ce is not that great a person."  

Chu Qiao shook her head and sighed with emotion, "When people say 'break the bridge after crossing the river' I'm afraid they were talking of people like you."  (TN: break the bridge so no one else can use it…)

"What did you say?"

Zhuge Yue was really about to fly into a rage out of shame, (TN: he is jealous!) but Chu Qiao simply raised her hand, with a look that said she did not want to go down that road with him, "If you're not leaving yet the sky will start to darken soon.  I am leaving if you are not."

Zhuge Yue dawdled for a long time, and suddenly took out a white jade bell from his chest pocket.  There was nothing out of the ordinary about its appearance, and he raised it to the side of her lips.  "The song you sang last night, sing it for me once more."

Chu Qia was surprised and asked, "Why?"

Zhuge Yue's face suddenly went red, and unexpectedly, it was quite adorable.  He frowned, "Why are there so many questions, I'm telling you to sing so just sing."

"Singing also requires a certain mood.  I am in a very bad mood right now.  I won't sing."

Zhuge Yue glared at her with the murderous eyes he had practiced over the years, and for a long time he did not remove his line of sight.  As he looked at her Chu Qiao had somewhat of a guilty conscience and whispered, "There are so many people watching, they will hear me. How can I not be mortified afterwards?"

He grudgingly accepted her explanation, and Zhuge Yue said, "Then say something into it."

"What should I say?"

The man nearly gnashed his teeth as he said, "Anything!"  (TN: ^__^; a drowning man will grasp at straws….)

Chu Qiao almost immediately shouted at the jade bell, "Zhuge Yue is a bastard!"

The sound was very clear, and even their numerous retinue downwind raised eyebrows in astonishment.

Zhuge Yue was furious and he turned his head to walk away.  Chu Qiao realized her joke was overdone, and hurried to catch up in front.  She reached out and took his hand, and said to the little bell, "Remember, I am waiting for you."

It was but a single sentence, yet it subdued his anger and lowered it.  In reality he was a person who was especially easy to mollify.

"What is this thing?"

Chu Qiao probed and touched it a few times only to find the stone was not really stone, and it was like jade but not jade.  The workmanship was very fine and though it was shaped like a bell, inside there were nine twists and turns, almost like a human ear.

Zhuge Yue paid her no heed, and only said, "You should go quickly, stop dilly-dallying."

Had he lost his mind?  (TN: -__- she's not the one delaying the departure….)

The two went back to their retinue, and finally, as they were about to leave, Chu Qiao could not help but caution him in earnest, "Be careful with everything you do."

Zhuge Yue appeared very composed as he slightly waved his hand and mounted his horse unperturbed, looking solitary and proud, nonchalantly like water, as if he floated himself high above the masses.  "Remember what I said."

As soon as he said it, like a big wig in the midst of his crowd of guards clustering around him, he strode off.

His figure gradually moved far away, and Chu Qiao continued to stand in the field without any reaction.

Jing Jing leaned forward, looking rather mesmerized, and murmured, "Big Sister, brother-in-law is so grim."

DuoJi frowned as if he didn't want to hear it, and said in a low voice, "Jing Jing, don't speak nonsense."

Jing Jing turned her head and glared at him, making a face and taunting, "Made you mad, made you mad!"

"DuoJi, do you know what this is?"  Chu Qiao frowned as she asked, as she described Zhuge Yue's little bell to him.

DuoJi listened with a slight frown, pondered it for a long while, before saying, "Miss, if you are not mistaken, then this bell is a legendary artifact. In an ancient book of records the author describes three treasures of the Southwestern Wind tribe, one of which is called the Bell of Intimacy.  That tribe was known for its excellent craftsmanship and proficiency in secret mechanisms.  This was created by the 8th generation of the Southwestern Wind tribe.  It is said that as long as you speak loudly into the bell, the bell will preserve that sound and repeat it when it is blown by the wind.  The sound would repeat without any change in tone.  The Southwestern Wind tribe has always been secretive, and there has been no news of them for many years.  It was thought the bell was long lost.  Where did you see this bell, Miss?  Did you hear the bell speak?"

Chu Qiao was slightly stunned.  The hoof beats in the distance had long disappeared, leaving only a line of dust over the plank road.

"Bell of Intimacy…?"  (TN: uh-oh...)

***

Zhuge Yue abandoned his carriage to ride his horse, and now, he was already close to the DaXia border.  Their reinforcements were already up in front, no longer conducting themselves in secrecy.

The weather was warm, without a trace of wind, but as the horse galloped there was still a very fine breeze blowing over the bell that hung from his neck.

"Remember, I am waiting for you."

The woman's soft whisper was gentle and sentimental, sounding lightly in his ear.  It was like clear lake water, quietly holding the dust in a tendril of smoke.  His mouth couldn't help but curve upward, but before his smile could slip to the bottom of his eyes, another voice pierced his ears, screaming:

"Zhuge Yue is a bastard!"

The sound was so loud, the guards who were galloping with him all took a fright, stopping their horses in horror as they steadily sent puzzled looks in his direction.

In that moment, Zhuge Yue's expression was quite unpleasant; very, very unpleasant.

Translator's notes:  I think this is the first reciprocal tender moment they've shared together, when both want the same thing.  Where the lantern festival chapter was very moving, this chapter was a very quiet, tender meeting of the minds.  These two are a strange pair, but they are among my favorite couples.  

I don't recognize many of the songs Chu Qiao sings in these novels.  But while editing a prior chapter and listening to Pandora radio (G.E.M. station) on my phone I happened upon this song I'd never heard before.  It caught my attention because it sounded so pretty, and then I realized the lyrics were exactly like the lyrics from this chapter.  What a coincidence!  Just like the many coincidences between these lovers.  Life imitates art!  

It's called The World Outside/外面的世界, sung by Karen Mok from around when this story was written, 2009-2010 (Universal Music Grp/SOLAR Music).  It's very sweet that she sung this to him in the novel.  You can see the original lyrics [here] and listen to it [here].  It's available on iTunes.

-Kero