Princess Agents 特工皇妃楚喬傳 Chapter 167 English novel translation

Translator's notes:  I started at the beginning of this chapter because I thought it was both interesting and touching to find out how Zhuge Yue made it out of the frozen lake.  We also see how Chu Qiao has changed and influenced him to this point. - K

Princess Agents - 特工皇妃楚喬傳 

Chapter 167:  North and South

That night Zhuge Yue slept very late and when the sky was about to become light, he leaned exhausted onto he divan, his consciousness lightly floating far away.  Vaguely, he apparently went back into the nightmare, seeing things that he had already forgotten.

In the dark obscurity he seemed to see countless beams of light moving around him, cold water stabbing his bones, and his entire body seemed to have frozen solid.

A cadaver-like hand held onto him, desperately pulling him to swim forward.  Scarlet blood gushed forth into the icy water and his consciousness scattered.

Yue Jiu's eyes were full red as he pulled him and struggled through the water.  The scattered sunlight penetrated through the layer of ice, a dim and distant light.  He faintly heard a loud sound from the surface, reaching his water submerged ear drums, with overwhelming force, exceedingly distinct:

Long live the King!  Long live the King!  Long live the King--!

He knew that they thought him already dead, and these were Yan Bei soldiers praising Yan Xun in fealty.

The sound was like reservoir water, rising higher and higher, and he could hear nothing else besides that sound. He had served his own crushing defeat to another.  In his whole life he had never before lost so miserably, and now, he was afraid he was about to throw in his life as well.

The sound gradually went far away.  His body had long since lost its temperature.  It seemed he was about to bleed the last of his lifeblood and he didn't have an ounce of strength left in any of his extremities.

Suddenly, he heard a boom vigorously reaching his ear.  He raised his head to look and saw it was Yue Jiu, doing his best to smash upward with his skull, one collision at a time, ramming the layer of ice above them.

*Boom!  Boom!  Boom!*

The sound was like muffled thunder, beat after beat striking into the pit of his stomach.  Fresh blood followed and flowed down the young guard's face, but it soon melted into the water.

Yue Jiu's face was whiter than snow, his lips were completely without color, like a ghost who had just crawled out of the grave.  He forcefully tread the water, his hands and legs already becoming stiff, but still he didn't relent and kept repeating this action.  So powerful, one strike after another, and again, and again….

*Boom -- Boom -- Boom -- * 

In that moment, it seemed as if layer after layer of dark clouds opened a gap and a bright, beautiful ray of sunlight pierced the bottom of his heart, and in the space of that moment he regained his consciousness.  These were his protectors who entered his household at the age of four.  All this time, the fact that that they would die for him was a foregone conclusion, and he had never thought there was anything wrong with that.  But in that moment, he thought of one sentence that girl had said to him a long time ago, so beautiful and elegant as she coldly glared at him, emphasizing each word as she said in a low voice, "No one is born a slave."

No one is born a slave -- 

With another boom a handful of blood suddenly splashed, and even though it was in the water he could still feel the hot, sanguine scent.

At that moment his body abruptly filled with strength once more, and he suddenly swam upward, pushing aside Yue Jiu whose head was covered in fresh blood, and with Chu Qiao's dagger in hand, he started stabbing at the ice one stroke at a time. 

I cannot die!

He said under his breath to himself.

I cannot die, I have many wishes that are still unfulfilled.  (TN: Again, something Chu Qiao had once said)

His lungs felt as though they were about to explode and his body was already frozen stiff.  His savage wounds quivered with flesh and blood, but he continued to rigidly fight for survival.

I cannot die!  I cannot die!  I cannot die!  *Bam*!

The layer of ice was amply shattered, and a large surge suddenly pushed his whole body upward.  The sun was glaring, and fresh air rushed into his face as he gasped one large mouthful after another, wanting to pull out his lungs for more if he could.

"Yue Jiu!"

He cried out loudly, "We're saved!"

He looked all around and but did not see Yue Jiu's form.  Diving head first back into the water, deeper and deeper, he finally found Yue Jiu's body at the bottom of the lake.  The young swordsman's body was covered in wounds, his face ghastly pale.  His eyes were wide open, his hair was a mess, and all over the top it was stained with blood.  He laboriously dragged Yue Jiu back to the surface, and then forcefully pressed onto the guard's chest, rubbed his hands and his face and shouted, "Wake up!  I order you!  Wake up!!"

In all of Zhuge Yue's life he had never before cried with such abandon, but on that day, he cried for a house slave.  In the boundless wilderness he wailed like a wolf.  (TN: R.I.P. Yue Jiu, you were awesome….)

Three days later he finally came across Yue Qi who had also just escaped from death.

His faithful and loyal guard had been lurking in Yan Bei by the ChiSui river with the remnants of the Moon Guard for three days.  More than twenty of them had froze to death in the lake while looking for him.  Then, as he was near death, they escorted him to WoLong Mountain.  After half a year, he was finally recovered for the most part, but only a shattered future awaited him.

That morning he faced the news that Yue Qi and the others brought him and idly sat there for a while, from sunrise to sunset.  When his teacher came in and saw that he had a map of the continent suspended in front of him, he asked lightly, "Where do you want to go?"

It had not been like this for many years, and he raised his head, entirely at a loss, "Teacher, there are no more roads I can take."

The white-haired old man smiled kindly, and then reached out his long hand and smashed a hole into the map of the continent, saying quietly, "Since there are no roads, just open a road for yourself."

He gazed at the map in puzzlement.  DaXia, Yan Bei, Bian Tang, Huai-Song, all of it had been torn off the page with his teacher's strike.  The map had turned into a large, empty hole, with only Quan Rong outside of the Great Wall, the southeastern seas, as well as a large piece of western wilderness.

"Child, in the wider world there are people more talented than oneself, (TN: an idiom that literally says outside of people there are people, outside of the sky there is more sky) how do you know that  this map can only be drawn in this size?"   

On the second morning, he again received word that Meng Feng had finally been tried by a justice of the peace last month, and as the charges were finalized, she had already been sentenced to wander in exile in QingHai.  At the moment, they feared she had already reached CuiWei Pass. 

The light and shadows of the years on the road ahead became an extravagant waste.  During those dark and cold days his hand held a scimitar that swung non-stop, sending out an intrepid, swift and fierce arc light advancing towards Fate's throat.  Time and time again he tenaciously rallied and took his enemies head-on.  Their warm blood covered his eyes, but in that thick, fresh blood he saw the true meaning of life.

****

Early in the next morning, a bright post horse rushed into Zhuge Yue's other courtyard.  The face of the soldier bearing the message was covered with the wind and dust of the road in his haste; his lips were chapped, and with each shake of his cloak he was closely packed with yellow sand.  Everyone's facial expressions became grave.  Chu Qiao finally realized something, and she quietly stood up and left the dining hall.

Half an hour later, Zhuge Yue was leaving.

Chu Qiao sent him off, walking all the way outside of the northern gate to the courier station.  The weather was a bit chilly, and Chu Qiao wore a cyan blue cloak with a circle of fur lining her bright and fair face, clean and simple but elegant -- very beautiful.

When they reached the Shili Pavilion, Yue Qi and the others tactfully moved back, leaving only the two of them remaining.  Without uttering a word, he dismounted and Chu Qiao followed behind.  The surrounding area of the travelers' pavilion was packed with shoots of bamboo and sedge grass.  The pillars had lost their paint, the sign hung crookedly.  It looked rather desolate and run down.

"I have to go."

Zhuge Yue turned around and looked at her gently, his words soft as he spoke.

"Oh."  Chu Qiao nodded her head, "Be careful on the road."

Zhuge Yue's eyebrows slightly furrowed together.  They were always like this.  After the trace of  initial excitement from meeting again passed, they became even more alienated and indifferent.  It was exactly as if neither of them knew how to get along with the other and they could only say these useless, polite banalities.

"After I leave, where will you go?"

"Me? I'll probably go to Bian Tang for a bit."

"And after that?"

"After that?"  The tips of Chu Qiao's eyebrows lightly knit together, and she thought about it for quite a bit, and then suddenly smiled, "I also don't know.  Perhaps I'll just wander and look around for where there are good things to eat, where there is pretty scenery to look at, and then find somewhere to live for a while, who knows."

A gust of wind blew over and they heard a *ding-a-ling* sound.  Chu Qiao and Zhuge Yue looked up simultaneously and only that this old dilapidated pavilion still had a wind chime hanging at the top. After years of being exposed to the wind and the rain it had already faded, but the sound was still clear and pleasant sounding.  Every time the wind passed, a cluster of rings chimed.

"You, will you go to Yan Bei?"

Chu Qiao smiled lightly, "I've lived in that place for many years now.  I've pretty much seen all the scenery there is to see.  Besides, my current body isn't all that good, I probably couldn't handle the cold of the north anymore. Even if it was the emperor of DaXia, I probably wouldn't dare go."

Zhuge Yue nodded, as if he understood something. His movements were a bit stiff, and he could not spit out the words that had already been entrenched in his heart.

These days had been like flowers blossoming on the ocean. In the end, they were just an illusion like a castle in the air, and when time was up the spell would be broken.  Everything was incompatible, even standing there at that moment had a kind of futile insistence.  Everything was doomed from the start. Like sand through his fingers, no matter how hard he tried to hold onto it, he would lose it even faster.

He raised his foot to go outside, his face the usual proud and chilly expression, unwilling to say a single word more.

"Zhuge Yue!"

The woman's hurried voice suddenly came from behind.  Her very small hand was ice cold, doing her best to grab hold of the hem of his clothes, very much like that familiar, stubborn strength.

"Thank you."

She whispered it, and her voice was mixed with the trace of a sob, but it remained coherent.

"I thought I would never again have the opportunity to say this to you in my lifetime: May the Heavens protect you, and always keep you safe and sound."

Chu Qiao's mouth slightly smiled, "Zhuge Yue, I have lived a life of restraints, a tumultuous existence.  I've done many things and I've traveled many roads, some right and some wrong.  But I never regretted any of it and I could always clearly see my own heart.  I never owed anyone anything.  But only you, I owe you too much, and I've no means to repay my debt.  Now that you have returned safely, I should be the one following you everywhere, and repay your kindness throughout my life.  Yet as I am now, I am not who I was before.  I've experienced all sorts of things, and I no longer have the courage to step into the fray.  In the Yan Bei battle the Xiuli General died and what remains is but an ordinary woman who has lost her dream.  I don't have the capacity to stand by your side."

The wind chime continued to ring in their ears.  Time solidified to a standstill in that moment.  Fate's circle was like a jeering face, coldly laughing and watching the helplessness of people on earth.

Chu Qiao suddenly opened her arms, leaned in closer from behind, and her fingers slid past the bend of the man's arms, and her snow white sking slid across his soft silks and satins.  The gold threaded embroidery rubbed against her fair wrists.  The wind was quiet.  Her hands gently gathered together little by little, bringing the front of her body closer.  Then, with a few steps, her face slowly pressed against his back.  One teardrop fell from the corner of her eye, dripping onto his navy blue garment, leaving a moist design on the silk.

"Zhuge Yue, I am sorry."

That voice was so low, as if it was a child's weeping cry of distress in the northern wind.

The sky suddenly floated a light snow that melted before it met the ground, but it fell onto their shoulders, piling up quietly.

With their skin so close, they could smell each other's breaths.  This was the first time she took the initiative to embrace him.  The years flowed between them like running water, all the images quietly coming and then disappearing just as quietly.  Fate had been playing a joke on them from the beginning.  After passing through so many twists and turns, they could only come to this distance today. The dust of so many years covered their faces, the foul winds of rain and blood have already gone, but they were still wearing the shackles of Fate.

Pale white birds flew across the sky, their wings swept across the sky's end in a long line, flying in a winding path south, until gradually, they were far away and all traces of flight disappeared. 

She finally loosened her embrace.  Chu Qiao withdrew her hands little by little.  His clothes were very cold, cold enough to seep through her fingertips.  His back was still straight, as if nothing in this world could defeat him.  He was still so handsome and tall.  The figure of his back penetrated the cold breath of the forest, as if he wanted to freeze the air all around.

Her arms were suddenly empty, and Chu Qiao moistened her lips and pulled a weak smile.

"Take care."

With a *whoosh* a sudden gust of wind came forth from far away, and the wind chimes swayed and rang wildly.

Zhuge Yue lifted his foot and exited ShiLi Pavilion, his expensive shoes stepping onto the withered, yellow grass breaking the stems so they softly lay flat on the ground, and as soon as the wind blew, they snapped off at their roots.

He mounted his horse, the Moon Guard raised their horse whips, the sounds of the war horses' calls drifted over, and the horses hooves flew up, trampling the tranquility of the post road to pieces. 

Their cloaks flew up like a multitude of war banners, heading north, their full clamor a provocative challenge as they galloped away.

He never looked back, maintaining his handsome and proud manner.  His back was straight as a pen as he sat on horseback, his blue brocade beautiful, his black hair like ink.  He travelled in the cold wind, gradually moving farther and father away, galloping on horseback until he disappeared into the rolling yellow sand dunes and she could no longer see his figure.

The early morning mist had not yet dispersed.  At the end of the road it was a vast expanse of ethereal white.  The hay on both sides of the road were blown about by the wind, making little whirls on the ground, without knowing where they would be blown next.

Chu Qiao suddenly thought of a time a long time ago, on the Yan Bei plateau, when she and the XiuLi Army had been framed by Cheng Yuan and became encircled by DaXia forces.

That night she had also quietly watched his back figure like this, watched him disappear into the obscured, snowy plain, little by little.  That time he also did not look back, but he walked rather slowly and led his horse away, wearing a heavy, thick cloak.  An abundant snow floated down from the sky, and the flakes floated onto her eyelashes.  The weather had been so cold, cold enough to make people want to cry.

In the blink of an eye, so many years already passed. 

The sun broke through the mist, gradually rising.  The pedestrians and the country merchants continuously passed by, calling out in their long intonations, selling all sorts of little objects.

Gradually the sun rose to its center, and teams of people and horses passed by.  Even the daughter of a government official stepped out to go to the Buddhist temple to pray.  There were world traveling guards for hire.  There were even the white-clad chivalrous martial-arts fighters one would sometimes see in the WuXia novels who saw her quietly watching from the pavilion, and some even came up and greeted her with worldly elegance and refinement.

But she didn't see any of it.  She just quietly stood there while everywhere just got noisier, and colder and more lonely.  The sun rose, the sun set, and the clear and cold moon was light a bright silver hook, like the face of a compassionate mother. 

The world between heaven and earth was dreary and deserted, leaving only her behind.  Her arms  and feet were already numb.  The sky became darker and darker, and nothing could be seen, only the light settling on the wild grass in a consolatory, deathly pale film.  Whatever the return journey, or the journey ahead, all had disappeared.

She took a very deep breath, lowered her head and shook off the stiffness in her neck, and heart full of headships turning into a sigh.  But she did not release it, and it only stayed in her heart, deeply swallowed down.

The gentle breeze blew through the wilderness, the grass waved and let out a swishing sound.  Her heart was so very empty.  Many past events played across her mind like smoke and everything went far away from her, leaving only a piece of white land.  Ten years of endless life and death struggle, everything hazy and melancholy.  Like wind through her fingertips she grasped onto nothing, and all of it was futile.

In the middle of that darkness she suddenly thought about words that were spoken many, many years ago.

"MinRui, you have so many men, who in the world are you going to pick?"

MinRui was manicuring her nails, and when she heard it her brow slightly ticked upward, "Me?  How should I know, if you're talking about those guys which of them deserves me?"

"Xiao Shi, what about you?  Will you follow after that post doctorate fellow for the rest of your life?"

Xiao Shi served the dinner she had made herself, smiled gently, and said sweetly, "That's right."

"You should be more cautious. You've paid for him to study and go to school. Be careful he doesn't kick you to the curb as soon as he makes it!"

"Absolutely not," Xiao Shi hesitatingly looked at Mao'er.  "What about you?  If the person you fell in love with in the future kicked you to the curb, what would you do?"

"He would dare?"  Mao'er stood on top of the sofa,  enthusiastically, with angry huffs, "If he dares, I'll castrate him and then beat the harlot."

MinRui harrumphed in disdain, "By yourself?  Who can you actually beat?"

"You lookin' down on me?  Tonight I'll just sell you to the brothel."

"Fine,"  MinRui said as she stretched out lazily.  "I actually wanted to go to Amsterdam to take the test for my professional certificate.  You'll have to speak to my old man first."

"What about Chu Qiao?" Xiao Shi forked a freshly baked piece of bread and leaned over, using her shoulder to give her a nudge.  She grinned as she asked, "If Chu Qiao liked someone what would it be like?"

She was at the time sorting the operation data for her next mission and after hearing the question she was a bit surprised, and immediately laughed, "I don't really know."

"How can you not know?"

Mao'er stole the pastry on Xiao Shi's fork with one bite, muttering to herself, "You don't have to skimp on your business. Talkin' to us like a bureaucrat, eh? Oh ho!"

"Me?" Chu Qiao pondered it for a while, and immediately smiled warmly, "Perhaps, I will be good to him."

"How good?"

Outside it was pitch black, the young Chu Qiao turned her head and looked at the dark night sky, tilted her head for a while, and after a long time she whispered, "Very, very good."

Very, very good….

She turned around and pulled her horse's bridle.

Her horse meekly stretched its head over, gently rubbing up against Chu Qiao's face, looking at her in a very loving but worried expression.

"Ha, ha."

Chu Qiao felt a bit ticklish.  This was Meteor, who had been raised by Zhuge Yue for many years. Now the horse was returned to her and it was still as affectionate as ever.

She reached out her hand to push it away, her voice a bit hoarse as she said softly, "Meteor, be good."

But in the midst of touching the horse her hand accidentally brushed against her own face, and it unexpectedly felt like the wind had wounded her, for her face was stained with tears.

She was suddenly a bit dumbfounded.  She turned her head stared at Meteor.   The horse did its utmost to pull hard against the reins, turning its head north, and snorting at her, as if it wanted to take her to chase after someone.

"Good, Meteor."

She gently pat its head, her face pressed against its neck.  The horse was already a bit old, just like her heart that was riddled with holes and full of scars.

"Let's go."

She straightened up, pulled the horse and quietly headed south.

The moonlight shined upon her and dragged a long shadow along the pale ground.  The night crows were startled, and shuffled their wings as they flew across the post road.  The young woman's image drifted further and further as she went, until finally, she became a pale shadow in the distance.

Translator's notes:  TT__TT my ship has sprung a leak.

This girl IS always saying goodbye to him….. SIGH…..  I know I said they'd be together but it's taking some time for her to recover and find the meaning in life again.  I also miss the feisty Chu Qiao but she needs to grow up, too.   

In my head cannon, Chu Qiao sings a lot to herself.  She sang once on the boat to WuPeng and in another later chapter her maidservant also praises her for having a pretty voice.  If my translations had a soundtrack I think several songs adequately describe Zhuge Yue or Chu Qiao's mood throughout the story.  Among the favorites on my playlist when I translate are:

1. Leave Me Hanging - Claire Kuo

2. C'est La Vie - Fish Leong

3. Twilight - JJ Lin

4. Why Aren't We In Love Yet? - Rosie Yang, Ryan Feng

5. One Kilometer - Valen Hsu

6. Exquisite - Jane Zhang (from 'Love Lost in Time')

7. If Heaven Had a Heart - A-Lin (from 'Princess WeiYoung')

8. Tree Rings - Diamond Zhang (from 'The Journey of Flower')

9. Listen to Snow - Diamond Zhang

10. Peach Blossom Promise - G.E.M. (from 'A Life Time Love')

11. Flowers in Bloom - CC Dong (from 'Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms/Eternal Love')

12. Love Song - Fish Leong

13. Have You Heard Lately? - A-mei Chang

14. A Thousand Miles, Far Away - Jay Chou, Yu Qing Fei

15. Simple - Claire Kuo

16. The Rain Is Coming - LaLa Hsu (from 'The Imperial Doctress')

17. I'm Not Leaving - Princess Ai

18. I Believe - Jane Zhang

19. Look at you Closer - Valen Hsu

20. Regarding - Fish Leong

Everything I do has a soundtrack.  ^_^

I've taken some days off from my busy work schedule for some rest.  I posted a lot these past few days and I found it kind of relaxing and cathartic to do something unrelated to my real job ^_^v.

But translating does take tons of time.  I can go a full day sitting at my laptop as I translate a chapter and then revise it, and then realize that the sun is setting….  Chinese is very lyrical and poetic, so a lot of it doesn't flow naturally in English.  There are idioms for practically every situation so the characters can't always be taken literally (I actually have an app on my phone that finds and translates idioms for me ^_^) and many characters have 3 -  7 different meanings so you really have to read a paragraph for context before you can make a decision about what the author means.  (It also doesn't help that I studied traditional Chinese, so being from mainland China, this author writes in simplified Chinese which sometimes reads like Greek to me…)  A lot of times, I have to choose whether to keep it lyrical or keep it simple but I don't want to lose too much in translation.

Sample translation: 

"一只死青的手抓着他，拼命的带着他往前游，猩红的血涌出来，在冰水中晕散开来."

Rough literal translation: "One ('zhi' - measurement) dead blue hand grasped ('zhe' - verb auxiliary) him, for dear life carrying/pulling/towing ('zhe' - verb auxiliary) him to go/walk forward swim, blood red/scarlet ('de' - of/possessive particle) blood poured/flowed/gushed forth, in the ice water middle dizzy/faint open come"  HAHA, come again?

Google translate reads: "A dead green hand clutched him, desperately carrying him forward, the scarlet blood rushed out and fainted in the ice water."  OK...? (Please, never rely solely on Google translate, it doesn't always catch the full meaning.)

Initial edit: "An ashen white hand grabbed onto him, desperately carrying him to swim forward as scarlet blood poured out in the ice water, he fainted (or, his consciousness scattered)."

Final edit: "A cadaver-like hand held onto him, desperately pulling him to swim forward.  Scarlet blood gushed forth into the icy water and his consciousness scattered."

A professional translator could definitely do better.  But every single sentence of every single paragraph goes through this transformation process.  Some are easy and others take me several minutes to figure out.  On occasion, some sentences will be so difficult I have to leave those alone and come back to it later before I smash my laptop in frustration.   In Chinese, punctuation is optional, sometimes decorative, and everything is a run-on sentence.  All my posts go through a final edit to correct the grammar, prose, vocabulary and spelling suitable for English readers.  Translating novels is much harder than comics because the language is much more dense!  I'll try but I have to go back to work now….  ;__;   - Kero